The Dark Side with Nat X

Nat X.....Chris Rock
Joe Jackson.....Sinbad
Sandman.....Chris Farley

Announcer: Live, from Compton, California, BET TV - that's Black Entertainment Television - presents "The Dark Side with Nat X". The only show on TV written by a brother, produced by a brother, and strictly for the brothers. Now, get ready for a man who's so black, his shadow still can't find him. Step back, 'cause here comes Nat!

Nat X: Peace, brothers and sisters. I'm Nat X, and welcome to "The Dark Side", the only five-minute show on TV! Why only five? Because that's all the time I've got between the showings of "Malcolm X". Now, a lot of people think "Malcolm X" might cause riots. I'll tell you what movie's gonna cause riots - that one where Whitney Houston's hugging up on that white boy, Kevin Costner! What's the matter, Whitney? You can't get a black bodyguard? Why don't you go borrow one from Eddie Murphy?! Anyway, I give "X" two thums up. Why only two? 'Cause that's all the thumbs the Man would give me! Now, before we bring out my first guest.. [ the White-Man Cam suddenly comes on, zooming in for a close-up of Nat, and placing the image of jailbars in front of him ] Hey, stop that! Get that away! White-Man Cam! You ain't gettin' me! [ White-Man Cam cameraman walks away ] Boy, I have'nt had that much fun since I did the Wild Thing with Weezy Jefferson! Now, my first guest tonight is the envy of most men in America, because he is known to have slept with Janet Jackson. Please welcome her father - Joe Jackson! [ Joe steps out and stands in front of Nat's desk ] Sit your "I-Don't-Believe-in-Birth-Control-Ass down! [ Joe sits down ] Now, Joe, why don't you tell the people why you're here?

Joe Jackson: I'm here to tell my side of the story against the miniseries "The Jacksons: The American Dream". Did you watch it, Nat?

Nat X: Yeah, I watched it! I was amazed at your talent!

Joe Jackson: [ intrigued ] Oh? Did you like my guitar playing?

Nat X: No! I'm not talking about your guitar playing! I'm talking about your left hook! I mean, I saw you smack Jackie so hard, his afro came off!

Joe Jackson: Look, Nat.. I had some problems back then..

Nat X: Well, your problem must have been your jab.. 'cause your left hook was workin' fine!

Joe Jackson: Nat! Sometimes the kids brought it upon themselves.

Nat X: Now I can understand smacking LaToya.. but why would you hit Tito? He never hurt nobody!

Joe Jackson: Nat, I suggest we talk about the show, before I go upside your head.

Nat X: [ agreeable ] Okay. [ pause ] Now, tell me the truth about Michael - was it all surgery, or did you smack the black off him?! Sandman, get him out of here!

[ Sandman rushes toward Joe with the broom to sweep him off the set, but Joe stands up and smacks Sandman on the nose ]

Joe Jackson: Hey, get up, boy! Get up!

Nat X: Hey, come on, Joe! He's just a clown! Why don't you go beat up the Sylvers for singing "Boogie Fever"? [ Joe smacks Nat in the nose, stunning him ] Alright! That's all the time we got! We gotta get out of here and go see the movie! Come on, let's go see "X"!

[ Nat and his studio audience run off the set ]

SNL Transcripts