The Dogs

.....Tom Arnold
Lead Singer.....Adam Sandler
Other band members.....Dana Carvey, Mike Myers, Rob Schneider, Rob Smigel
Spectators.....Chris Farley, Melanie Hutsell, David Spade



Tom Arnold: You know, I'm a huge fan of the Deattle rock scene, and this summer I spent a little time up there and I saw a band that really blew me away. I'm honored to introduce them here tonight. Ladies and gentlemen - Dogs!

The Dogs:
"1, 2, 3, 4!"
[ they start playing as spectators watch on ]
"Well, I'm jumping on the table cause nothing seems quite as nice,
Now my face is in my poo, that's your clever punishment device.
I slept on the couch,
I THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE IT!
Brought you a dead bird,
I THOUGHT YOU'D EAT IT!
So now you're like my nose, cold as ice!

Cause I was baa-aa-aad!
Bad bad baa-aa-aad!
Bad bad baa-aa-aad!
'Cause I won't go on the wee-wee pad!

Oh what's my name again?
I'm sorry I didn't come running
No dinner for me? So sad
It makes its own gravy
Now I'm puking on the carpet,
I COULDN'T HELP IT!
I'm drinking from the toilet
IT'S JUST A HABIT!
I swear that smell you smell is not from meeeee!

But I'm baa-aa-aad!
Bad bad baa-aa-aad!
Bad bad baa-aa-aad!
'Cause I won't go on the wee-wee pad!

Have you ever tasted your brown shoes?
I think you might be surpri-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-sed"


[ guitar solo ]

"Squeeze toy!"
[ squeezes the squeeze toy ]

"Well, I thought you'd know it's shedding season
Or is that a dirty word?
And weren't you the one that said, "Stay inside!"
I'd bring you the tennis ball
BUT YOU DON'T THROW IT!
I'd run for the tennis ball
BUT YOU JUST FAKED IT!
Oh you're just way too smart for meeeee!

Cause I'm baa-aa-aad!
Bad bad baa-aa-aad!
Bad bad baa-aa-aad!
'Cause I won't go on the wee-wee pad!"


[ end song ] "Good boy! Good boy!"


Thanks to Tony DuMont for this transcript.


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