Clinton Inaugural Gala

Barbra Streisand.....Mike Myers
Whoopi Goldberg.....Ellen Cleghorne
President Bill Clinton.....Phil Hartman
Hillary Clinton.....Jan Hooks
Chelsea Clinton.....Julia Sweeney



[ open on the Clinton Inaugural Gala, Barbra Streisand finishing the song "People". ]

Whoopi Goldberg: Barbra Streisand, ladies and gentlemen! Yeah! give it up! This is so nice - this is all for you, Mr. President! Inauguration! Now it's a new beginning, because it's like, Bush - he didn't know, because we was saying, "The people are hungry!" and he was saying, "Barbera, where's the dog?" You dig, you know? Alright! now, we got a psecial surprise for you - all the way from.. well, I don't know where she come from, but you know the sister is bad! And she's here tonight, for you! Ladies and gentlemen, Madonna!

Madonna: Mr. President.. this is for you. [ whispers in song ] "Happy.. Inauguration.. to you."

[ Clinton claps wildly ] "Happy.. Inauguration.. to you."

[ Hillary fumes ] "Happy Inauguration, Mr.. Pwesident."

[ Clinton has a huge smile on his face; Hillary is angry, Chelsea is confused ] "Happy.. Inauguration.. to you."

[ Clinton and Hillary are now fighting over the personal tribute ]

"How.. old.. are.. you now?"

[ Clinton smiles, as Hillary fumes some more ]

"How.. old.. are.. you now?"

[ Hillary gets up to leave, as Clinton persuades her to stay ]

"How.. old.. are.. you, Mr.. Pwesident?"

[ Clinton holds Hillary in his arms, while giving the "Call Me!" signal to Madonna ]

"How.. old.. are.. you now?"

[ audience gives a standing ovation ]

[ Clinton gives Madonna the "Call Me!" signal again, but she shakes hr fingers "No, no", and acknowledges Chelsea instead, who is pleasantly surprised by the outcome ]

Madonna: "Live, from New York, it's Saturday Night!"


SNL Transcripts