92m: Alec Baldwin / Paul McCartney
Todd’s buddy.....Tim Meadows
Cindy the Manager.....Chris Farley
[Establishment shot : a GAP boutique]
[GAP Girls are standing beside Customer, who’s wearing a huge oversized pair of pants]
Kristy : [Talking to Customer] Those… look great!
Lucy : Definitely!
Customer : Are you sure? They’re even bigger than the last pair I’ve bought and those were pretty huge….
Lucy : Did you stitched that?
Customer : …Mmm I’ve tried them it with a belt and--
Kristy : You can’t do that! You got to "finch’em"!
Lucy : Yeah! We told you to stitch’em!
Kristy : Yeah! You just paperbag’em out and stitch’em!
Customer : …Well, you know it’s just--
Lucy : Okay, you’re just gonna stitch‘em and then you’ll see…
Kristy : You’ll love’em!
Lucy : Okay? So-Bye!
[Customer leaves towards the cash register]
Lucy : [looking at customer leaving] He was so, not my type!
Kristy : Oh wait did I tell you? I finally saw "A Few Good men" last night.
Lucy : Oh really I haven’t seen that, how was that?
Kristy : Um okay, Tom Cruise, is like, a lawyer, or something, and he’s, he’s all: "I want the truth about the war!" and Jack Nicholson’s all: "Um you can’t handle the truth" and Tom Cruise was all:" But, I want it anyways".. or whatever ‘t’was good!
Lucy : Tom Cruise is so yummy!
Kristy : I’m sorry but Jack Nicholson was hotter!
Lucy : Would you?
Kristy : Definitely!
Lucy : You’re such a whore! [laughs] You should get a job at Banana Republic with the rest of those sluts!
Kristy : Aah, would you even use one of their changing room?
Lucy : Aah yeah I’d use their changing rooms if I wanted to get body lice.. [laughs] Oh my God there! Wait there’s Todd!
Kristy : It is… How do you know Todd?
Lucy : Oh he’s kind of my boyfriend!
Kristy : Oh I don’t think so he’s kind of mine!
[Camera switches to Todd and his buddy in another corner of the GAP store]
Todd : Oh NO!
Todd : I can’t believe this! I had a one-night with both those skanks last month!
Kristy: Todd can I talk to you?
Buddy: Oh no dude you’re busted! I’ll meet you over at Tedder’s junction!
Todd : Yeah… [Todd walks towards the GAP girls…embarrassed] Oh Hi um… [Todd tries to remember Lucy’s name]
Lucy: LUCY!!? You know my friend over there Kristy told me something very interesting!
Todd : Oh Kristy um yeah! I feel real sorry for her!
Lucy: What do you mean?
Todd : Well, I saw her last month at a party.. and she was pretty drunk! I gave her a ride home as a favor and she tried to kiss me!
Lucy: But did you?
Todd : No I’m seeing you! Look I just wanted to get her home safe ‘cause she was so wasted!
Lucy : Well she is kind of an alcie… Well why you haven’t called me in last three weeks?
Todd : I’ve been! I did last night it was busy for three hours!
Lucy : I’ve got call-waiting!
Todd : I know! That’s why I was so freaked out!
Lucy : Wow that is weird
Todd : I was scared, that’s why I came over!
Lucy : You didn’t come over!
Todd : Yes I did I banged on the door!
Lucy : I don’t have a door I have a gate!
Todd : I know I cut my hand on it!
Lucy : [Looking at Todd’s hand] There is no cut!
Todd : I know, it healed, that’s what I’m trying to tell you! Look if you’re not going to listen forget it!
Lucy : No Todd! I’m the whore! I’m the whore! You’re good and I’m so bad!
Todd : It’s okay baby, we’ll work it out we always do! Now go over there and help pack those costumes as I’ll straighten out your friend over here all right?
Lucy : Yeah she’s all weirded out!
[Todd walks towards Kristy]
Todd : Hey beautiful!
Kristy : Screw you Todd, I’m not talking to you!
Todd : Ah. Fine! But that girl over there who’s your friend, you’d better watch her!
Kristy : Yeah I will… why tough what do you mean?
Todd : ‘cause she thinks I look like some kinda guy she’s dating or something.
Kristy : Ah, oh be cool here comes our manager [whispers] act like a customer.
Cindy the Manager : Ah… Krissie what’s going on?
Kristy : Oh, Hi Cindy! Okay sir, um these are dark blue, these are light blue, and these are kinda medium blue!
Cindy the Manager : Ah whatever [whispers to Kristy] push the Cable Knits! [Cindy leaves]
Kristy : You are so full of it Todd!
Todd : Good! Don’t believe me! You’re obviously looking up for an excuse to break up with me! [Todd leaves, but retained by Kristy]
Kristy : No wait ! Where were you last night, you stood me up!
Todd : Stood you up? You stood me up, I was at Googies waiting for you!
Kristy : I was at Googies and I didn’t see you!
Todd : I know I couldn’t get in!
Kristy : They’re letting everyone in!
Todd : I know that’s why I got into a fight with the bouncer because I was.. bragging about how much I was in love with you!
Kristy : They don’t have a bouncer
Todd : I know that’s what I’m trying to tell ya!
Kristy : [Kristy starts crying] I’m sorry it’s just you weren’t there and I was all.. I was all.. I was all..
Todd : It’s okay—
Kristy : ..I was all..
Todd : ..baby it’s okay! It’s all about trust!
[Lucy comes back]
Lucy : Is everything okay?
Kristy : Are you okay?
Lucy : Yeah
[Tracy enter the set]
Tracy : Hey Tood!
Todd : Hum, Hey Tracy!
Tracy : Look! I only have a 45 minutes break from Donut Hut if you want to hang out! [Tracy stares at Kristy]
Todd : Hey all right I’ll be right there…. [Tracy stares at GAP girls and leaves – Todd put his arms around GAP girls’ shoulders] Hey I’ll be right back, gotta give it to her a therapy appointment she’s a very very troubled girl.
Kristy : Help her Todd!
Lucy : Go help her!
Krsity : Ah it’s nice..
Lucy : Tracy Westcot works at Donut Hut now?
Kristy : Yeah! ah apparently she’s taking her work home with her – in her butt!
Submitted by: P-Y