Crystal Gravy

Man.....Kevin Nealon
Woman.....Julia Sweeney



[ open on far shot of Planet Earth, with SUPER: Let's Be Clear ]

Announcer: Earth wasn't created in seven days.

[ show waterfall, with SUPER: Clearly Natural Is Best ]

There are some things man will never improve on.

[ show man and woman jogging, with SUPER: SPEAK OUT ]

Don't take what you're given.

[ show canyon exploding, with SUPER: Clearly We Can ]

Why can't we be cleaner?

[ show time-lapse footage of roses blooming, with SUPER: Na-tu-ral:(adj) of or relating to nature - Natural ]

We're hungry for something different.

[ SUPER: DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET ]

[ Music Intro: "Right Now", Van Halen ]

[ show clear gravy pouring, with SUPER: Why Can't You See Anything? Let's Make This Crystal Clear ]

[ show bottle of Crystal Gravy ]

[ Crystal Gravy is poured over meat and potatoes, with SUPER: "Clear + Gravy = Clear Gravy - I Don't See Any Lumps ]

[ show pot of gravy turn clear, with SUPER: Just Like Mom Used To Make - Clearly ]

[ show Man wash his face with it, with SUPER: You Can See Through It ]

[ show Woman dip chicken leg in her Crystal Gravy, with SUPER: Someone Just Got A Taste Of The Future ]

[ SUPER: Lighter, Cleaner, More Transparent ]

[ SUPER: Finally You Can See Your Meat ]

Crystal Gravy. You've never seen a gravy like this.


SNL Transcripts