History's Great Over-Thinkers

Host.....Jeff Goldblum
Thomas Edison.....Phil Hartman
Orville Wright.....Adam Sandler
Leonardo DaVinci.....Rob Schneider
Albert Einstein.....Mike Myers

[ show title card ]

Host: I.. I think so. [ looks up and notices the cameras have begun to roll ] Ahhh, hello! And welcome once again to "History's Great Overthinkers". Tonight: our distinguished guests are.. [ camera pans across each guest as their name is called, and they acknowledge the camera with a nod ] ..Thomas Edison.. Orville Wright.. Leonardo DaVinci.. and Albert Einstein. Arguably, the greatest overthinkers.. of all time. Tonight, I thought we'd start our program with the inventor of motion pictures, the phonograph and the light bulb - a true genius and great overthinker - Thomas Edison.

Albert Einstein: Well, I certainly-

Host: [ interrupting ] But, then I thought.. [ clears his throat ] ..why not begin with Albert Einstein? After all, he may be the greatest pure thinker in history. So, it would stand to reason that he'd also be the best over thinker. So, why not begin with him.

Albert Einstein: Vell.. in Germany-

Host: [ interrupting again ] But, then I thought.. uh.. maybe we should save our big gun for later, or maybe we could do an entire show on just Einstein himself - he's certainly worthy of an entire show. So, why not start off with the inventor of the first self-propelled, manueverable airplane - Orville Wright. Orville?

Orville Wright: It's a pleasure to be here-

Host: [ interrupting ] Ah.. I'm sorry, Orville - would you mind if Leonardo goes first?

Orville Wright: Uh.. no..

Host: 'Cause, see, I was just thinking the audience might enjoy seeing Leonardo first, since he's such a famous artist. And.. I also thought that an artist's ideas should be set apart from three scientists' ideas.. which makes me, uh.. think.. I-I should definitely save Leonardo for last.. Uhm Mr.. Edison.. why don't we start with you? Mr. Edison, what was the most promising invention you ever backed out of.. because of overthinking?

Thomas Edison: Well, I had an idea for a car that runs on water.. but then I thought there already was a car that runs on gasoline.. and maybe the ideas were too similar. Of course, gasoline's more scarce than water, but, although at the time, i-i-it wasn't scarce at all-

Host: [ interrupting ] I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.. now I'm thinking I should have let Leonardo talk first, and just trusted my intuition. I was originally afraid of the fact that Leonardo doesn't speak any English - might be distracting to the audience - but now I-I think it's endearing. Leonardo? Why don't you start first?

Leonardo DaVinci: [ mumbles in Italian ] The.. eh.. invencionne..

Host: [ interrupting again ] I'm sorry, I'm sorry.. we're out of time. I'm so sorry.

Leonardo DaVinci: Non potempo?

Host: Uhh.. no. No. This has been "History's Great Overthinkers". We usually come on Tuesdays at 6:30 PM, but then we thought that most people eat at 6:30 - and it's more a weekend kind of show, anyway - so we thought we'd move to Sundays at 8:00 PM.. but then we thought, that might confuse people too much with the change.. so we thought we'd split the difference, and come on Tuesdays at 6:00 AM. Then we thought, you know, that's.. that's so early.. and nobody's up that.. that early. So, we finally went with a Wednesday time, around midday..

[ show title, fade ]

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