Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 20: Episode 2







94b: Marisa Tomei / Bonnie Raitt

Lexon Paradox

[ show mystery car hidden under a white sheet blowing from the breeze of an interior fan ]

Announcer: Can a single luxury car be both the most spacious and the most compact on the market? Lexon asks you to consider a paradox.

Female Voiceover: Paradox..

Announcer: Introducing the all-new Lexon Paradox. Smaller than the competition, yet bigger.

Female Voiceover: We are through the looking glass..

[ show two groups of Lexon engineers standing on opposite sides of the screen ]

Announcer: This remarkable automobile is the synthesis of the work of two teams of Lexon engineers. Team A was asked to decrease the size of Lexon's most popular model.. while Team B searched for ways to make it bigger.

Announcer: While one team made Paradox the most expensive car in the world.. another made it the most affordable.

Announcer: One designed the Paradox to be an elegant, white luxury Sedan.

Female Voiceover: White Sedan..

Announcer: The others, a sporty red Coupe.

Female Voiceover: Red Coupe..

Announcer: One team gave it incredible stopping power.. the other gave it no brakes of any kind.

Announcer: One team was asked to give the Paradox four doors.. another designed it to have only two.. while still another gave it six doors.. and the final team, one gigantic all-purpose door.

Female Voiceover: One.. big.. door..

Announcer: And, while one team gave the Paradox dual airbags.. another designed it to shatter on impact, throwing passengers up to 300 yards.

Female Voiceover: Very, very dangerous..

Announcer: The new Paradox. The best car money can buy.

Female Voiceover: Or is it.. the worst?


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