Dana Carvey's Monologue

George Bush/Himself.....Dana Carvey
.....George Bush



[ Dana Carvey comes out dressed as former President George Bush ]

George Bush: Take 'her slow! Slow-ly.. Feel like I'm the Dave Clark Five here! [ chuckles ] Doni' a little Tai Chi - Dana's backstage, not quite ready, a little nervous. Sent me out here to stal for time, but.. since we've got a minute.. you know, I wanna tell ya, I've been feeling good about the Republican Party. Been consulting with some - thank you! I'm in enemy territory here! Been consulting with some Republican pollsters - looks good! It looks good! Sat down with Newt Gingrich and Phil Gramm.. worked up a little ditty. G.E.? You wanna lay down that funky thing you do back there?

[ the band starts to play, as Bush begins to hip-hop ]

"Republicans are teachers
Democrats are students!
Don't vote for donkey
Wouldn't be prudent!

Gingrich and Dole
Diggin' Bill a hole.
You heard me, and I'm in it
We're takin' the House and Senate!

We're not gonna lose
Not gonna do it!
Nah gah
Nah gah
Nah gah
Nah gah!
Not gonna do it
And I'm nah gah!
I say I'm not nah gah.."


Director's Voice: Dana?

Dana Carvey: What?! I was doin' my "Nah gah"!

Director's Voice: Uh.. President Bush is still on the hook-up, and.. he wants to say something.

Dana Carvey: Wha.. wha.. he-he's here now?

Director's Voice: Yeah. Should I put him through?

Dana Carvey: [ in Bush voice ] Uh.. alright. Put him in.

George Bush: Dana. George Bush here. I'm watching you do my impression of me, and, I gotta say, it's nothing like me. Bears no resemblence. It's bad. It's bad!

Dana Carvey: Well, I'm sorry, Mr. President! I think it's a fair impression!

George Bush: Don't see it.

Dana Carvey: You don't?

George Bush: It's totally exaggerated! It's not me. Those crazy hand gestures.. the pointing thing.. I don't do 'em! And, also: "Nah gah da." Never said it. In all my years of governement service, I never once said, "Nah gah da!"

Dana Carvey: Uh.. anything else?

George Bush: Yes! That Church Lady thing. What was that all about? Never got the point.

Dana Carvey: [ in Church Lady voice ] Well, isn't that special?

George Bush: Dana. gotta go. Bye.

Dana Carvey: Well, perhaps he's got a point. Is he gone, Davy?

Director's Voice: Yep.

George Bush: Hit it, G.E.!

[ singing ]

"Nah gah!
Nah gah do it!
Nah gah!
Nah gah do it!"


Edie Brickell is here! Stick around, we'll be right back!

[ singing ]

"Nah gah do it..!"


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