94j: Jeff Daniels / Luscious Jackson
Ted Davis.....Chris Elliot
Mark's Voice.....Michael McKean
Caption: FILM BEAT
[Opens with Ted and Jeff sitting in directors chairs
with a TV screen behind them. Two rows of black and
white pictures of Jeff Daniels performances from his
movies are on the set]
Ted Davis: Hi and welcome to Film Beat. I'm Ted Davis.
No relation to Betty. Ha,ha,ha. And with me today is
Jeff Daniels. A very versatile actor now starring with
Jim Carrey in the hit comedy "Dumb and Dumber". Which
one were you? He, he, he...
Jeff Daniels: Well, I mean there wasn't really much...
Ted Davis: No, no, no, that was the title, right?
Jeff Daniels: Right.
Ted Davis: But I got ya'.
Jeff Daniels: You did, you did. Yep.
Ted Davis: Well, I think we have a clip from "Dumb and
Dumber". Is that all cued up, Mark?
Mark: [off camera]Oh, yeah.
Ted Davis: Ok, great. So let's take a look."Dumb and Dumber"
[Cut to the scene in Dumb and Dumber were Jeff
character is panting and grunting in the bathroom,
taking his pants and underwear off in a hurry and
taking a thunderous dump. His face contorts and
flatulence and diarrhea sounds are heard. His face
changes to comfort and with a towel he fans out the
window the unholy smell of his crap]
[Back to studio]
Ted Davis:[laughs]That is funny stuff. Very funny, Jeff.[pats Jeff leg]
Jeff Daniels:[amused but a little embarrassed] Yeah, well, not one of my proudest moments.
Ted Davis: Of course not.
Jeff Daniels: Hey, it was a nice change of pace.
Ted Davis: Sure. No, absolutely. Now look, let me ask
you something. Last summer you starred in the big action hit "Speed".
Jeff Daniels: Mm-mmm.
Ted Davis: Tell us about that one.
Jeff Daniels: Oh, right. Well, I play an explosives
expert and Keanu Reeves is my partner and he's in a
bus with a bomb and I'm trying to figure out a way to
keep it from blowing up.
Ted Davis: Wow. Ok, well I think we have a clip of
that. Let's take a look.
[They turn to look at the screen again. The same clip
of Dumb and Dumber plays again. The thunderous crap scene]
[Back to studio]
Jeff Daniels:[confused look] I think there's a....
Ted Davis: Wow! That was exciting. Boy, jeez. So I
guess the whole idea was that the stress caused you
some sort of gastrointestinal thing?
Jeff Daniels: Um, no. Actually, no. I think someone
made a mistake. That was the same clip from before.
That was a scene from "Dumb and Dumber".
Ted Davis:[surprised]Ok, um Jeff. Wow. Umm. Let me
switch gears here for a second. I want to talk a
little bit about your breakthrough role in one of my
favorite films "Terms of Endearment".
Jeff Daniels: Sure.
Ted Davis: If we could.
Jeff Daniels: Well, I played a college professor whose wife was...
Ted Davis: Played by Debra Winger.
Jeff Daniels: Right. She's diagnosed with cancer and
then she finds out I'm having an affair with a student.
Ted Davis: Yes, that was quite a moment. I remember.
Jeff Daniels: Yeah, yeah. People hated my character
for cheating on a dying woman.
Ted Davis: Yeah, no I'm sure. I can imagine. But
ironically if I remember correctly your character also
came down with a little bit of an illness. Something.
Little bit of Montezuma's revenge. Let's take a look.
I think we have a clip.
Jeff Daniels: What?!
[Cut to scene of thunderous dump of Dumb and Dumber]
[back to studio]
Ted Davis: Well Jeff Daniels, Deborah Winger, "Terms
of Endearment". A lot of Oscars passed around. I don't
know. How did you feel? I don't want to say overlooked....
Jeff Daniels:[distressed] No, listen Ted. I think
there's a problem with the clips.
Ted Davis: Mark, are we having problems with the clips?
Mark: [off camera] No problem.
Ted Davis: Ok, no problem with the clips. Ok, let me
again switch gears if I could for a second here.
Jeff Daniels:[getting angry] Yeah, yeah.
Ted Davis: Do you worry at all about being typecast?
At all. I mean, do you worry about always being the
guy in the toilet? I mean....Jeff "Diarrhea Head" Daniels.
Jeff Daniels: All right. Look, look....I think I
better just leave.[gets ready to leave, Ted holds his arm]
Ted Davis: I'm sorry Jeff. Can you hold that thought?
We have to break away for a commercial here and will
be right back after this commercial with Jeff "Toilet
Boy" Daniels? So stay tuned.
[cut to thunderous dump scene of Dumb and Dumber]
[back to studio]
Ted Davis: Ok, so we're back from commercials.
Jeff Daniels: That wasn't a commercial!!
Ted Davis: Yes, it was.
Jeff Daniels: No!, no!
Ted Davis: It was a commercial.
Jeff Daniels: Well, what was it a commercial for?!!
Ted Davis: You know, I'm not sure. Let's take another look.
Jeff Daniels: NO!!!
Ted Davis: Its...we could do it. It's very easy to...
Jeff Daniels: No!
Ted Davis: Are you sure?
Jeff Daniels: No....fine.
Ted Davis: So what's next for Jeffrey Daniels? Tell me
about it. What are you working on now?
Jeff Daniels: Well, as a matter of fact, I'm writing a
screenplay that I'm very excited about.
Ted Davis: Oh, that's terrific, yeah. I think we have
a clip of that. Let's take a look.
Jeff Daniels: No, you don't.
Ted Davis: Mark, do we have a clip of that?
Mark: [off camera] Absolutely.
Ted Davis: Ok, great.
Jeff Daniels: You don't have a clip of a movie that
hasn't even been made yet!!!
Ted Davis: Oh, my dear Jeffrey. Then pray tell what might this be?
[Thunderous dump scene from Dumb and Dumber plays
again. Jeff is mortified. He covers his face, Ted
looks at him and enjoys watching him squirm]
Ted Davis: Ok, well Jeff. I think we're just out of
time. Do you have any last words you'd like to leave
Jeff Daniels: Yeah, I really don't know why you're
doing this. You know, I've never been treated in this
way. I mean, I really, really, really resent....[loud
fart sound effects]
Ted Davis: Oh, no. Come on.[Fans his face, making it
look like Jeff is farting]
Jeff Daniels: I flew in here for this....I, I, I
could've said no....
[Film Beat logo appears. Frustrated Jeff keeps talking
to a uninterested Ted]
[cheers and applause]
Submitted by: Waldo San Miguel