Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 21: Episode 2












95b: Chevy Chase / Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories

Lobotol

Narrator.....Nancy Walls
Katie.....Cheri Oteri
Designer.....Cindy Caponera
Head Designer.....Will Ferrell
Designer/Announcer.....Darrell Hammond
Designer.....Dennis McNicholas
Designer.....Lori Nasso

FADE IN:

[ INT. CLOTHING DESIGN FIRM ]

[ KATIE, a 30-something career woman, comes in and shakes hands with our NARRATOR. ]

Narrator: I remember the day Katie came to work at Blair Fashion. We clicked right away! What a little pistol she was!! So much energy!

[ Katie guides the seamstresses in the factory. ]

Narrator (V/O): Sometimes she'd create two, or even three, dresses in one day.

[ The narrator peeks over to Katie in mild scorn, who's working to little or no difficulty. ]

Narrator: She made quite an impression on our head designer.

[ Katie presents a dress design to the board. The narrator grimaces as the head designer and his colleagues laud Katie's creation. ]

Narrator: It's hard to keep up with Katie.

[ The narrator taps her wristwatch at Katie's desk to indicate lunchtime to Katie as the large clock behind her displays 11:55 AM. Katie politely declines. ]

Narrator (V/O): After a while, she got too busy to have lunch with me.

[ The large clock displays 10:17 PM. The cleaning woman buffers the floor. Katie's still hammering away at her desk. ]

Narrator (V/O): She was kind of making us all look bad...

[ Katie takes measurements on a model wearing her design. A migraine hits Katie. ]

Narrator (V/O): One day I noticed Katie really stressed out.

[ Katie massages her forehead. ]

Narrator: That's when I suggested Lobotol.

[ CLOSE-UP: HAND DISPENSING "LOBOTOL" ]

[ SUPER: NO NEED TO CONSULT A PHYSICIAN BEFORE USE. ]

[ The narrator holds Katie's hand holding two Lobotol pills to her mouth until she swallows them. Katie gives in. ]

Narrator: My husband gave it to me when he thought I was asking too many questions... it practically saved our marriage.

[ SUPER: THREE WEEKS LATER... ]

Narrator (V/O): A few weeks later, Katie was much better!

[ The narrator is wearing a more elite business suit and giving directions to the employees. ]

Narrator: Thanks to Lobotol, not only did I get my friend back, but I also got a raise! Careful, Katie!

[ Katie is covered in tulle from head to toe. She scans the room with a vacant mind. ]

[ DISPLAY: LOBOTOL ]

[ SUPER: USE ONLY AS RECOMMENDED BY A "FRIEND" ]

Announcer: Lobotol - now available without a prescription.


Submitted by: Cody Downs


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