Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 21: Episode 3


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:


October 21st, 1995

David Schwimmer

Natalie Merchant

None

Adam McKay

Lisa Kudrow

Jennifer Aniston

Gary Coleman

Barry Williams

Jimmie Walker

Jim Downey

Colin Quinn

ABC News Special Report
Summary: Cokie Roberts (Nancy Walls) covers the action at the Washington, D.C. frat boy march staged by Darius Rucker (Tim Meadows).

Recurring Characters: Peter Jennings, Cokie Roberts, Charlie Sheen.


Montage


David Schwimmer's Monologue
Summary: Lisa Kudrow, Jennifer Aniston, Gary Coleman, Barry Williams and Jimmy Walker surprise David Schwimmer by singing their respective theme songs to support for their friend's big night hosting SNL.

Transcript


Grayson Moorhead Securities I
Summary: Arthur Grayson (Jim Downey) outlines his investment principles, including keeping a list of how much money each client has invested and to feign listening to the client.

Recurring Characters: Arthur Grayson.

Transcript


Kids vs. Grownups
Summary: Game show host (David Schwimmer) favors the adults, and that's tough cookies for the kids.

Transcript


Grayson Moorhead Securities II
Summary: Arthur Grayson (Jim Downey) outlines more of his investment principles, including what to do if his wife cals while he's shagging his secretary.

Recurring Characters: Arthur Grayson.

Transcript


Rita DelVecchio
Summary: Italian mom Rita DelVecchio (Cheri Oteri) claims the toys thrown onto her porch by neighborhood kids as her own.

Recurring Characters: Rita DelVecchio.

Note: When Rita gets the hockey net tangled in her dress, Cheri Oteri accidentally mutters, "Look at this shit."


Fuzzy Memories
Summary: Jack Handey recalls the Thanksgiving his parents told him they couldn't afford to buy a turkey.

Transcript


The Elevator
Summary: A businessman (David Schwimmer) seeks a normal ride up the elevator, only to find that his fellow passengers exhibit odd behaviors once the doors close.

Transcript


Weekend Update with Norm MacDonald
Summary: Jim Breuer re-enacts his recent bar fight. Indian chief John Two Eagles Flying (Will Ferrell) comments on the Cleveland Indians performance at the World Series.


Natalie Merchant performs "Wonder"
Lyrics


Secrets
Summary: A group of friends are dismayed to learn their buddy Pete's (Darrell Hammond) secrets while waiting to surprise him in his apartment.


Spade in America
Summary: Jennifer Aniston is nonplussed by David Spade's Hollywood Minute style jokes about "Friends."


Slim Shannon
Summary: Shannon (Nancy Walls), a slim clothing clerk, acts insensitively to her plus-sized customers.


Natalie Merchant performs "Carnival"


Triumph Performers
Summary: Their disabilities won't stop a group of performers from being in show business.


Goodnights
Summary: David Schwimmer makes Cheri Oteri put a dollar in the Swear Jar for cursing during the Rita DelVecchio sketch.

Transcript



SNL Transcripts