Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 21: Episode 3

95c: David Schwimmer / Natalie Merchant

Fuzzy Memories

Narrator.....Jack Handey

[ open on "Fuzzy Memories" book sitting before a roaring fire ]

Announcer: Fuzzy Memories --

[ hand reaches it to open the book to the first page, labled "by Jack Haney" ]

-- by Jack Handey.

[ hand turns the page to an animated visual of the following sequence: Mom and Dad addressing the kids, and the holiday meal that followed ]

Narrator: I think the best Thanksgiving we ever had was one when we didn't even have a turkey. Mom and Dad sat us kids down, and explained that business hadn't been good at Dad's store. So we couldn't afford a turkey. We had vegetables and bread and pie, and it was just fine.

[ dissolve to the young Jack entering his parents' bedroom ]

Later, I went into Mom and Dad's bedroom to thank them, and I caught them eating a little turkey. I guess that wasn't really the best Thanksgiving.

[ return to the first page, as the hand closes the book and returns to the cover ]

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts