Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 21: Episode 5




95e: Quentin Tarantino / Smashing Pumpkins

Spartan Cheeleaders

Arianna.....Cheri Oteri
Craig.....Will Ferrell
Cheerleader.....Quentin Tarantino

Craig and Arianna:
One, two, three, four, five
Mighty Spartans don't take no jive
Six, seven, eight, nine, ten
Let's back it up and do it again

One, two, three, four, five
Mighty Spartans don't take no jive
Six, seven, eight, nine, ten
Let's back it up and do it again

Craig: Are you a Spartan?

Arianna: I think so

Craig: Are you a Spartan?

Arianna: I think so

(Arianna jumps into Craig's arms then holds her upside down)

Craig: Hey! Who's that Spartan hangin' upside down ?

Arianna: It's me! It's me!

Craig: I said who's that Spartan hangin' upside down?

Arianna: It's me! It's me!

Together: Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh!
Whooo Spartans!

Craig: (Looking at someone off-stage) Hey is the party still at Rick's?

Arianna: The party? Is it still at Rick's? What did he say?

Craig: I don't...I can't hear...He said the party's still at Rick's.

(Both do their famous kick and sits down)

Together: Shane! Oh, my God Shane! Go Shane! Awww...Go Shane!!!

You can't see why we're so great!
East Lake Spartans
You can't see why we're so great!
East Lake Spartans
East Lake Spartans
East Lake Spartans
Can't see! Whoooo!

Craig: Look there's Coach Maxwell...

Arianna: What? Where is he?

Craig: Right there. Coach Maxwell!

Arianna: Coach Maxwell!

Craig: The guys are doing great!

Arianna: Kickin' butt!

(Both stand up)

Together: Coach Maxwell! Coach Maxwell!

Craig: He can't hear us. (Another kick and then sits back down)

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, please enjoy East Lake high school's half-time entertainment!

Arianna: Oh my God...

(Craig and Arianna get up and stretch. Then dance to “Everybody Dance Now.” Awesome! Real Spartan cheerleader runs up and turns off their music)

Cheerleader: Listen you buttholes! You're not a Spartan Spirit! Give back the uniforms! You didn't make the squad! You got it? You're not a Spartan Spirit! Oh, oh! A touchdown! (Running off-stage) Firecracker firecracker boom, boom, boom!

Arianna: (Crying) Just because we didn't make the squad doesn't mean we don't have Spartan Spirit!

Craig: Yeah...let's show him!

Arianna: Let's show him!

(Continues dancing to “Everybody Dance Now”)


Submitted by: Jenni C.


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