Saturday Night Live Transcripts
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Season 21: Episode 9
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 Air Date:
Host:
Musical Guest:
Special Guests:
Cameos:
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December 16th, 1995
Madeline Kahn
Bush
None
Colin Quinn
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NBC's Christmas Salute To Our Bosnian Troops
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Summary: Jay Leno (Darrell Hammond) and other celebrities entertain the U.S. troops in Bosnia.
Recurring Characters: Jay Leno, George Burns, Fran Drescher, Courtney Love.
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Madeline Kahn's Monologue
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Summary: Madeline Kahn uses alternating soprano and frog voices to sing Clarence "Frogman" Henry's "Ain't Got No Home."
Also Hosted: 75s, 77b.
Transcript
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Gangsta Bitch Barbie
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Note: Repeat from 10/07/95.
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Spartan Cheerleaders
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Summary: Craig (Will Ferrell) and Arianna (Cheri Oteri) provide unwelcomed cheers at the high school basketball game.
Recurring Characters: Craig, Arianna.
Transcript
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John-John Mackey's Storm Tracker Accu-Cast
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Summary: Tough guy meteorologist John-John Mackey (Tim Meadows) treats bad weather as his personal bitch.
Transcript
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Giant Bird
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Summary: Bill (David Koechner) and his wife, Nancy (Madeline Kahn), argue as a giant bird carries them away.
Transcript
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Leg Up
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Summary: Russian ballerina Ludmilla Baschenkova (Madeline Kahn) is tonight's special guest.
Recurring Characters: Debbie Reynolds, Ann Miller.
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Weekend Update with Norm MacDonald
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Summary: St. Nicky (Colin Quinn) tells Norm MacDonald how he became Santa Claus.
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Lucien & Fagan's Antique Shop
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Summary: Lucien (Mark McKinney) and Fagan (David Koechner) won't break their store's return policy, not even for their top customer (Madeline Kahn).
Recurring Characters: Lucien, Fagan.
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Fuzzy Memories
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Summary: Jack Handey remembers the time as a kid when he stuck his head out of the car window and accidentally knocked a dog's head off.
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Spade in America
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Summary: David Spade unveils his wish list for 1996.
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Bush performs "Glycerine"
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Wedding Vows
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Summary: A bride (Madeline Kahn) and groom (Will Ferrell) have awkwardly composed their own vows.
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Fuzzy Memories
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Summary: Jack Handey remembers a family crisis.
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Old Glory Insurance
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Summary: Sam Waterston endorses the insurance plan that protects elderly people against robot attacks.
Note: Repeat from 11/18/95.
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SNL Transcripts
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