Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 21: Episode 9


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:


December 16th, 1995

Madeline Kahn

Bush

None

Colin Quinn

NBC's Christmas Salute To Our Bosnian Troops
Summary: Jay Leno (Darrell Hammond) and other celebrities entertain the U.S. troops in Bosnia.

Recurring Characters: Jay Leno, George Burns, Fran Drescher, Courtney Love.


Montage


Madeline Kahn's Monologue
Summary: Madeline Kahn uses alternating soprano and frog voices to sing Clarence "Frogman" Henry's "Ain't Got No Home."

Also Hosted: 75s, 77b.

Transcript


Gangsta Bitch Barbie
Note: Repeat from 10/07/95.


Spartan Cheerleaders
Summary: Craig (Will Ferrell) and Arianna (Cheri Oteri) provide unwelcomed cheers at the high school basketball game.

Recurring Characters: Craig, Arianna.

Transcript


John-John Mackey's Storm Tracker Accu-Cast
Summary: Tough guy meteorologist John-John Mackey (Tim Meadows) treats bad weather as his personal bitch.

Transcript


Giant Bird
Summary: Bill (David Koechner) and his wife, Nancy (Madeline Kahn), argue as a giant bird carries them away.

Transcript


Leg Up
Summary: Russian ballerina Ludmilla Baschenkova (Madeline Kahn) is tonight's special guest.

Recurring Characters: Debbie Reynolds, Ann Miller.


Bush performs "Comedown"


Weekend Update with Norm MacDonald
Summary: St. Nicky (Colin Quinn) tells Norm MacDonald how he became Santa Claus.


Lucien & Fagan's Antique Shop
Summary: Lucien (Mark McKinney) and Fagan (David Koechner) won't break their store's return policy, not even for their top customer (Madeline Kahn).

Recurring Characters: Lucien, Fagan.


Fuzzy Memories
Summary: Jack Handey remembers the time as a kid when he stuck his head out of the car window and accidentally knocked a dog's head off.


Spade in America
Summary: David Spade unveils his wish list for 1996.


Bush performs "Glycerine"


Wedding Vows
Summary: A bride (Madeline Kahn) and groom (Will Ferrell) have awkwardly composed their own vows.


Fuzzy Memories
Summary: Jack Handey remembers a family crisis.


Old Glory Insurance
Summary: Sam Waterston endorses the insurance plan that protects elderly people against robot attacks.

Note: Repeat from 11/18/95.


Goodnights



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