Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 21: Episode 9




95i: Madeline Kahn / Bush

Madeline Kahn's Monologue

... Madeline Kahn

Don Pardo V/O: Ladies and gentlemen, Madeline Kahn!

Madeline Kahn: [a fabulous redhead dressed in leather] Thank you, it's great to be here. Ah, thank you so much, it's such a pleasure to be hosting, uh, Saturday Night Live again. It's been eighteen years. Yes. Last time I hosted this show was in 1977. Yeah, it seemed to go really well. And, um ...

So, uh, I - I picked out, you know, I picked out the perfect song to perform for my next visit which of course I assumed would be, you know, sometime in 1978. ...

But 1978 passed, you know, and, um, no phone call from the show. Anyway, uh, 1979, 'kay? Still rehearsing ... the song. Then came the '80s, um-- The entire '80s, actually. ... And then the '90s arrived and it seemed very promising, you know ... what with the miracle of fiber optics and so on. ...

Finally, in 1994, phone rings - it's Lorne's office, calling to say they were looking for Madeline. Stowe, Madeline Stowe. ...

Eventually, the call DID come and I knew it would. So here I am. Still got the song. And now I would like to perform it for you. [cheers and applause, saxophonists Lenny Pickett and Lino Gomez approach and stand behind Madeline]

[with great dignity] It is called, "Ain't Got No Home" by Clarence "Frogman" Henry. ...

[Pickett leads the band into this rollicking rock 'n' roll tune and the crowd claps along as Madeline takes a hand mike and sings:]

Ain't got no home
A-no place to roam
Ain't got no home
A-no place to roam
I'm a lonely boy
I ain't got a home

But I got a voice
And I loves to sing
And I sing like a girl
I sing like a frog
I'm a lonely boy
I ain't got a home

Ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo
Ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo
Ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo
Ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo
Ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo
Ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo

[girl's voice:]
I ain't got a man
I ain't got a son
I ain't got a daughter
I ain't got no one
I'm a lonely girl
I ain't got a home

Ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo
Ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo
Ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo
Ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo
Ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo
Ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo

[frog's voice:]
I ain't got a mother
I ain't got a father
I ain't got a sister
Not even a brother
I'm a lonely frog
I ain't got a home

Oh, what you say to me
Please say to me
Oh, what you say to me
Please say to me
I'm a lonely frog
I ain't got a home

[girl's voice:]
Ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo
Ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo
Ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo

[frog's voice:] Ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo-ooo ooo

[girl's voice:]
I'm a lonely girl
I ain't got a home

[song ends, lengthy cheers and applause]

We've got a great show. [applause continues] Thank you. Dream come true! Dream come true! Stop now! [crowd quiets] Got a great show. Bush is here. [cheers and applause] Stick around, we'll be right back.


Submitted Anonymously


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