Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 21: Episode 13


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:


February 17th, 1996

Tom Arnold

Tupac Shakur

None

Paula Pell

Adam Sandler

WMUR 9 CNN Debate
Recurring Characters: Bob Dole, Steve Forbes, Pat Buchanan, Alan Keyes.


Montage


Tom Arnold's Monologue
Summary: A clueless Tom Arnold fails to realize he's insulting cast members with his comments.

Also Hosted: 91n, 92h.


The Life We Lead
Summary: To save money, a local station sprinkles news items into soap opera dialogue.


St. Gabriel's Bake Sale
Summary: Devout churchgoer Gail Lafferty (Nancy Walls) issues ass kickings.

Recurring Characters: Gail Lafferty, Barb, Mary.


Tupac Shakur performs "California Love"


Weekend Update with Norm MacDonald
Summary: O.J. Simpson (Tim Meadows) phones an update in to Norm MacDonald. Joe Blow (Colin Quinn) gives more local news updates. Adam Sandler sings "Dip Doodle", a song about his grandmother.

Recurring Characters: Joe Blow.


Miracles of Science
Summary: Despite having an oversized head, Gus "Braniac" Grady (Arnold) is not all that smart.


Naive Mrs. Kogen
Summary: Mrs. Kogen (Jim Breuer) naively insists to Officer Markell (Tom Arnold) that her son (Colin Quinn) is not a criminal.


Gerald Tibbins
Summary: Gerald "T-Bone" Tibbins (David Koechner) readies a patient (Tom Arnold) for surgery.

Recurring Characters: Gerald Tibbins.


Fuzzy Memories
Summary: Jack Handy recalls his dad's woodpecker-induced suicide.


Tupac Shakur performs "I Ain't Mad At Cha"


Tree Slice Display
Summary: Criminal ranger Ron Blanston (Tom Arnold) uses tree slice to illustrate his mission.


Petchow
Summary: Hank Petchow's (Will Ferrell) rat poison is dusguised as dog food so as fool its intended victims.

Transcript


Goodnights
Transcript



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