Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 21: Episode 13

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


February 17th, 1996

Tom Arnold

Tupac Shakur


Paula Pell

Adam Sandler

WMUR 9 CNN Debate
Recurring Characters: Bob Dole, Steve Forbes, Pat Buchanan, Alan Keyes.


Tom Arnold's Monologue
Summary: A clueless Tom Arnold fails to realize he's insulting cast members with his comments.

Also Hosted: 91n, 92h.

The Life We Lead
Summary: To save money, a local station sprinkles news items into soap opera dialogue.

St. Gabriel's Bake Sale
Summary: Devout churchgoer Gail Lafferty (Nancy Walls) issues ass kickings.

Recurring Characters: Gail Lafferty, Barb, Mary.

Tupac Shakur performs "California Love"

Weekend Update with Norm MacDonald
Summary: O.J. Simpson (Tim Meadows) phones an update in to Norm MacDonald. Joe Blow (Colin Quinn) gives more local news updates. Adam Sandler sings "Dip Doodle", a song about his grandmother.

Recurring Characters: Joe Blow.

Miracles of Science
Summary: Despite having an oversized head, Gus "Braniac" Grady (Arnold) is not all that smart.

Naive Mrs. Kogen
Summary: Mrs. Kogen (Jim Breuer) naively insists to Officer Markell (Tom Arnold) that her son (Colin Quinn) is not a criminal.

Gerald Tibbins
Summary: Gerald "T-Bone" Tibbins (David Koechner) readies a patient (Tom Arnold) for surgery.

Recurring Characters: Gerald Tibbins.

Fuzzy Memories
Summary: Jack Handy recalls his dad's woodpecker-induced suicide.

Tupac Shakur performs "I Ain't Mad At Cha"

Tree Slice Display
Summary: Criminal ranger Ron Blanston (Tom Arnold) uses tree slice to illustrate his mission.

Summary: Hank Petchow's (Will Ferrell) rat poison is dusguised as dog food so as fool its intended victims.



SNL Transcripts