Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 21: Episode 15





95o: John Goodman / Everclear

The Real World III

Kristen.....Cheri Oteri
Terry.....Mark McKinney
Chloe.....Molly Shanno
Hoagie.....Jim Breuer
Annabel.....Nancy Walls
Chris.....Tim Meadows
Bob Dole.....Norm MacDonald

[ Segment #3 opens with Bob Dole waking up to the sound of Hoagie watching the "Today Show" ]

Bob Dole: What the hell are you doing! It's your turn to wake up people! I'm late for the "Today Show"!

[ cut to Chloe explaining the current living situation ]

Chloe: Bob told me that he used to be very afriad to get close to people, and that Elizabeth was the very first person he had ever.. gotten naked with.. and.. he said, "Chloe, it was so scary". And I said, "I know." And he said Elizabeth just held him, and he said he used to have to have little glasses of wine because he'd get so nervous getting naked with a woman.. or getting naked.. or thoughts of getting naked with a woman..

[ show Bob entering the bathroom while Annabel is in the shower. He smiles when he sees her naked silhoette, but runs away when she spots his voyeurism. ]

[ cut to Annabel's final meeting to discuss Bob's behaviro ]

Annabel: So, he's just standing there, staring at me in the shower.. and he's got this really creepy look on his face..

Chris: Yeah, his face always looks creepy.

Terry: What about his freak-out over the chair?

Hoagie: Let's do it. Let's kick him out of the house.

Chloe: Yeah! Let's do it!

[ camera shows Bob spying on the meeting from behind a curtain. As REM's "Everybody Hurts" plays, Bob turns his face to the side to reveal a lone tear fall from his eye. ]

[ cut to Chris summarizing the scene ]

Chris: I don't know.. he just got angry, you know.. Again, it's, like, "Mine, mine, mine", you know? And it's not even.. you know, none of the furniture is ours, it's all M-TV's, you know? So, I don't even know what that was all about..

[ show Bob Dole walking down the street with a suitcase, and dragging his favorite chair behind him ]

[ The End ]


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