Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 21: Episode 16

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


March 23rd, 1996

Phil Hartman

Gin Blossoms


Lorne Michaels

Adam McKay

Paula Pell

Dennis McNicholas

Heston's Advice to Dole
Summary: Charlton Heston (Phil Hartman) gives Bob Dole an image makeover.

Recurring Characters: Bob Bole, Charlton Heston.


Phil Hartman's Monologue
Summary: After having performed an exceptional number of impressions over the years, Phil Hartman has lost sense of his real identity.

Also Hosted: 96g.


Summary: The roach motel that lets you torture roaches for a cheap thrill!

Note: Repeat from 11/11/95.

Leg Up
Summary: Debbie Reynolds (Cheri Oteri) and Ann Miller (Molly Shannon) on a bygone era with Frank Sinatra (Phil Hartman).

Recurring Characters: Debbie Reynolds, Ann Miller, Frank Sinatra.

Acting class
Summary: Acting teacher Bobby Coldsman (Phil Hartman) abuses his class of acting hopefuls while name-dropping the likes of Gordon Jump.
Recurring Characters: Bobby Coldsman, Troy, Brian, Kelley.


Roxbury Guys
Summary: Brothers Steve (Will Ferrell) and Doug Butabi (Chris Kattan) try to attract women at the Roxbury club.

Recurring Characters: Doug Butabi, Steve Butabi.


Weekend Update with Norm MacDonald
Summary: Frankenstein (Phil Hartman) makes a quick comment on budget cutbacks. Jesse Jackson (Darrell Hammond) comments about how black actors are being snubbed during the Academy Awards.
Recurring Characters: Frankenstein, Jesse Jackson.


Gin Blossoms performs "Follow You Down"

You're The Man
Summary: While attempting an arrest, police office (Phil Hartman) tells guntoting Johnny DeSanto (Chris Kattan) that he's the man.

Spade in America
Summary: David Spade delivers a movie-oriented Hollywood Minute.

Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer
Summary: Naive-acting Cirroc (Phil Hartman) defends a tobacco company.

Recurring Characters: Cirroc.


Gin Blossoms performs "Memphis Time"

Summary: Talk show host Taddli (Mark McKinney) chastises his pot-smoking guests.

Fuzzy Memories
Summary: Jack Handey remembers the time as a kid when he stuck his head out of the car window and accidentally knocked a dog's head off.

Note: Repeat from 12/16/95.


Dress Rehearsal Cuts

Uncle John
Summary: Uncle John (Phil Hartman) engages in peculiar vices while recording a commercial for his buttermilk flapjacks.

Note: This sketch appears as a bonus feature on the Best of Phil Hartman DVD.


SNL Transcripts