Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 21: Episode 17






95q: Steve Forbes / Rage Against The Machine

Forbes On Forbes

Mark McKinney.....Steve Forbes #2
.....Steve Forbes

Steve Forbes #2: Hello. I'm Steve Forbes, and welcome to "Forbes On Forbes". Joining me today, as usual, is my co-host, Steve Forbes. Mr. Forbes, welcome.

Steve Forbes: It's a pleasure to be here, Steve Forbes.

Steve Forbes #2: Well, it's always a pleasure to debate you. But I can't help but notice hat you seem to have gone a little crazy, and put on a yellow tie today.

Steve Forbes: I don't know what drove me to it. I can only guess that it's a full moon tonight!

Steve Forbes #2: [ laughs maniacally ] Well.. enough levity. Let's get started.

Steve Forbes: Agreed. Okay, first point for debate on tonight's show: Is the Flat Tax a good idea? Steve, I'll let you tackle this first.

Steve Forbes #2: Well, thank you, Steve. Well, I might be going out on a limb here, but I thought the Flat Tax was an excellent plan for reforming our complicated tax system. But I'm sure you disagree.

Steve Forbes: Well, actually, I do agree with you. So, I hope there's room for two out on that limb!

Steve Forbes #2: [ laughs maniacally ]

Steve Forbes: But, seriously, I think the Flat Tax offered an unprecedented opportunity for a simple and fair tax system for all Americans.

Steve Forbes #2: Well, I agree.

Steve Forbes: I agree.

Steve Forbes #2: Good. But that brings up an interesting point: Did this candidacy have to end when it did?

Steve Forbes: Well, reluctantly, I have to say yes. Although we put forth our ideas forcefully, I think to carry on this campaign would have been pointless.

Steve Forbes #2: Well, I have to disagree. I think the decision to end the Steve Forbes campaign was disasterous, particularly when you consider the Mark McKinney Factor.

Steve Forbes: [ confused ] The Mark McKinney Factor?

Steve Forbes #2: Yes. He's a young entertainer on a nationally boradcast, live comedy show, who had just created a hit character of the candidate Steve Forbes, only to have you leave the race when his character was taking off.

Steve Forbes: Well, when I decided to leave the race, which was a very emotional, soul-searching time, I have to be honest - the Mark McKinney Factor was not high onour list of priorities.

Steve Forbes #2: Ah. So, are you prepared to admit that the entire Forbes candidacy was just an attempt to screw Mark McKinney?

Steve Forbes: No. No, the campaign was about bringing new ideas. New ideas about the Flat Tax..

Steve Forbes #2: [ interrupting ] Respectfully, Mr. Forbes, could you shut up about the Flat Tax? Mark McKinney is Canadian, and doesn't even pay taxes in this country, or, at least, that's what he's going to be telling the IRS this year.

Steve Forbes: I think you're being a little selfish.

Steve Forbes #2: I disagree. Do you realize how many hours Mr. McKinney spent studying videotapes, just so he could do an accurate impression of you?

Steve Forbes: Uh, well.. I thought the impression was sometimes amusing, but I'm not sure it was entirely accurate.

Steve Forbes #2: Oh, really? Well, if Mark McKinney was here, what flaws, if any, would you point out to him?

Steve Forbes: Well.. I don't think he ever got my laugh quite right.

Steve Forbes #2: Well, how do you think Steven Forbes laughs?

Steve Forbes: [ demonstrating ] "Ha ha ha!"

Steve Forbes #2: Really? I think the laugh went more like this: [ laughs maniacally ]

Steve Forbes: Well, I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree.

Steve Forbes #2: Fine. Concluding remarks, Steve?

Steve Forbes: I think that we ran a good campaign, and brought many good ideas into the debate.

Steve Forbes #2: I agree. But I feel that it's sad, that such an interesting campaign had to end on such a petty note of screwing Mark McKinney.

Steve Forbes: I'm Steve Forbes. Good night.

Steve Forbes #2: And, maybe for the last time, I'm Steve Forbes. Good night.


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