Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 22: Episode 2




96b: Lisa Kudrow / Sheryl Crow

Brief Histories

Sally Scarborough.....Ana Gasteyer
Narrator.....Darrell Hammond

FADE IN:

[ EXTREME CLOSE-UP ON CLOCK GEARS ]

Narrator (V/O): Brief Histories.

[ MONTAGE OF BLACK AND WHITE PHOTOS OF GEORGE FERRIS, THE FERRIS WHEEL AND VARIOUS FAIRGOERS PLAYED OVER CLASSICAL MUSIC. ]

Narrator (V/O): 1893. The World's Columbian Exposition in Chicago. An engineer by the name of George W. Ferris proudly debuts the invention of that was his life's work -- The Ferris Wheel. Thousands of wide-eyed fairgoers rode Ferris' "wheel" that day while its inventor looked on proudly.

[ A PHOTO OF YOUNG SAM WILKINS. ]

Sam Wilkins: I was so excited when I saw it. I waited in line for an hour just so I could say "I rode the Ferris Wheel." When the ride was over, it was like, "Man, that was a letdown!"

Narrator (V/O): Sam Wilkins - Fairgoer.

[ BACK TO FAIR PHOTO MONTAGE. ]

Narrator (V/O): George Ferris was puzzled by the lukewarm response he got to his wonderful Wheel. He insisted everyone ride it - free.

[ A PHOTO OF FAIRGOER SALLY SCARBOROUGH. ]

Sally Scarborough: The old man offered everyone a free ride! I told him, "You know what? I think I got it the first time -- wheel goes up, wheel goes down. Thanks, but no thanks."

Narrator (V/O): Sally Scarborough - Fairgoer.

[ BACK TO FAIR PHOTO MONTAGE. ]

Narrator (V/O): By this time, George Ferris was starting to lose his cool. "Get back on that damn wheel!", he shouted, "And this time enjoy it! You stinkin' sheep!" The crowd ignored him until he explained he put thousands of pounds of high explosives into the framework of his "wheel" and if they didn't start showing some respect, they were all a match strike away from a grizzly inferno. The crowd then agreed to give this remarkable "wheel" another spin.

Ferris himself was at the controls. That ride lasted three and a half hours but not a soul complained. They were swept up by the magic... of the Ferris Wheel!


Submitted by: Cody Downs


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