Saturday Night Live Transcripts
|
Season 22: Episode 3
|
|
|
 Air Date:
Host:
Musical Guest:
Special Guests:
Cameos:
|
October 19th, 1996
Bill Pullman
New Edition
None
Adam McKay
|
|
Dole's Dream Debate
|
Summary: Bob Dole (Norm MacDonald) dreams that he's debating Thomas J. Whitmore (Bill Pullman), the ficticious president from "Independence Day."
Recurring Characters: Jim Lehrer, Bob Dole, Elizabeth Dole.
|
|
Home Security Decoys
|
Summary: Bill Tasker (Mark McKinney) touts the menacing dummies that keep real criminals away.
Transcript
|
|
AT&T Operators
|
|
Summary: Operators Janice (Will Ferrell) and Kelly (Chris Kattan) chat between calls.
|
|
Tic Tac Toe
|
Summary: Crotchety carpenter Jack (Norm MacDonald) has to physically nail the X's and O's to the game board, while his son, Jack, Jr. (Mark McKinney), plugs the home version.
Note: One of the pieces falls on Norm MacDonald's head while he pounds another piece into place.
|
|
The Rules Show
|
|
Summary: Ellen Fein (Ana Gasteyer) and Sherrie Shneider (Molly Shannon) advise want-to-be brides to "get the ring."
|
|
TV Funhouse
|
|
Summary: During "Fun With Real Audio", President Clinton and Bob Dole's weaknesses surface during their latest debate.
|
|
Weekend Update with Norm MacDonald
|
Summary: Harry Caray (Will Ferrell) offers his thoughts on the World Series.
Recurring Characters: Harry Caray.
Transcript
|
|
New Edition performs "Hit Me Off"
|
|
|
|
Hollywood Party
|
|
Summary: Beatrice (Molly Shannon) and Sebastian (Chris Kattan) dish celebrity gossip.
|
|
The Quiet Storm
|
Summary: Chris "Champagne" Garnett (Tim Meadows) battles it out with his station manager (Bill Pullman) after he's fired.
Recurring Characters: Chris "Champagne" Garnett.
Transcript
|
|
New Edition performs "I'm Still In Love With You"
|
|
|
|
The Heyward Foundation
|
Summary: Desperate to get into heaven, wealthy John W. Heyward (Bill Pullman) fronts a research lab that can put a camel through a needle for him.
Transcript
|
|
Hidden Camera
|
|
Summary: The hidden camera pranks are far too obvious for the general public.
|
|
Women's Kick Boxing
|
Summary: Promoter Hal Mendez (Bill Pullman) oversells the promise of women kicking women hard.
Transcript
|
SNL Transcripts
|
|
|
|
|