96c: Bill Pullman / New Edition
Hal Mendez.....Bill Pullman
Leslie Ann Smith.....Ana Gasteyer
Ann Manassas.....Molly Shannon
(Caption: "Tonight! Tonight! Tonight!" Rock guitar. Footage
of different matches of women´s kickboxers, bashing
Announcer: Tonight! Tonight! Tonight! Through October
31st, it´s hard core action from the International
League of Women´s Kickboxing!
(Sleazy promoter in a tuxedo)
Hal Mendez: I´m Hal Mendez and my American
International League of Women´s Kickboxing is the only
place where you can see women kicking women...hard!!
(Caption: "Hal Mendez. Promoter I.L.O.W.K." More footage
of women kicking each other in slow motion)
Announcer: Mothers, waitresses, lawyers, teachers but
mostly part-time strippers kicking each other...hard!!
It´s a scientifically proven fact that women kick
hard!! (Photo of Einstein) Einstein see ya´, hate to be
ya´! (Photo explodes, more slo mo footage of women
fighting) Because the laws of physics do not apply when
women kick women...hard!!
Hal Mendez: Ya´thought ya´saw kicking before you
haven´t seen nothing until you seen women kicking
women...hard!! And just when you´re tired of women
kicking women, women will start punching each
other...hard!! And keep punching each other until
you´re ready for women to kick each other all over
again!! It´s a non-stop female smorsgarboard of pain!
(Caption: "North Kicks South." Two women kickboxers are
back to back posing)
Announcer: This week north kicks south when Buffalo´s
Women Kickboxing Champion Leslie Ann Smith (looks to
the camera) takes on Florida´s own Ann
Manassas. (snarls at the camera) They´ll kick each
other so hard that you´ll be glad you came to see them
kick each other!
Hal Mendez: If you think it´s disturbing seeing women
kicking women, wait until you hear it.
(More footage of women´s kickboxing)
Announcer: Women kickin´women...hard!! Only $24!!
(Leslie, Ann and Hal in the middle pose for the camera)
Hal Mendez: Women kicking and punching women...hard!! It´s real.
Announcer: Women´s kickboxing not considered a real sport.
Submitted by: Waldo San Miguel