Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 22: Episode 7




96g: Phil Hartman / Bush

Lux 420 SL

.....Cliff Robertson
Crazy Person.....Will Ferrell

Cliff Robertson: Each individual demands a car built to meet their specific needs. Lincoln designed the "Towncar" for the businessman who demands luxury. Dodge, the "Caravan" for the family. And now we are proud to present the "Lux 420 SL" for crazy people...

(A CRAZY PERSON IS SEEN DRIVING MANIACALLY THROUGH A BICYCLE TRAIL.)

Cliff Robertson: The "420" has a fuel injection system taken from crashed flying saucer parts, it is also the 1st mid-sized sedan with disc brakes designed by nostradaumus. The "Lux 420" is also the safest car on the road...

(CUT TO A SHOT OF JESUS, ABE LINCOLD, AND "DR. ZAIUS"--"PLANET OF THE APES" FAME--ANALYZING THE CAR. JESUS IS SEEN SLAMING THE DOOR WILDLY.)

Cliff Robertson: ...Top european scientists designed it that way. And with the built in car sink, you'll be able to wash your hands every 5 minutes...

(CRAZY PERSON SEEN WASHING HIS HANDS WHILE DRIVING.)

Cliff Robertson: That's not all, over 18 feet of trunk space (POPS TRUNK OPEN REVEALING A NUMER OF JARS.) allows you to store over 200 jars of urine safely. The "Lux 420SL", the car your neighbor's dog has been telling you to buy.

(CRAZY PERSON RUNS UP TO THE CAMERA WITH HIS PANTS DOWN, FREAKS OUT A LITTLE, THEN RUNS AWAY AND JUMPS UP INTO THE AIR, A JINGLE IS THEN SUNG BY A CRAZY PERSON.)

Crazy singer: (SUPER) "There's a radio in my fingernail...CAR!"


Submitted by: Justin Kaplowitz


SNL Transcripts