Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 22: Episode 7


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:



Bit Players:


December 14th, 1996

Rosie O'Donnell

Whitney Houston

Penny Marshall

Beavis & Butt-Head

A Message From the President of the United States
Summary: In the spirit of Christmas, President Bill Clinton (Darrell Hammond) and former Senate Majority Leader Bob Dole (Norm MacDonald) make up.

Recurring Characters: President Bill Clinton, Bob Dole, Michael Jackson, Janet Reno, Debbie Rowe.


Montage


Rosie O'Donnell's Monologue
Summary: Rosie O'Donnell sings "I Got You Babe" with Penny Marshall and Whitney Houston.


Darnette Disposable Toilets
Summary: Why use the same toilet more than once?

Transcript


Spartans
Summary: Craig (Will Ferrell) and Arianna (Cheri Oteri) perform cheers for Pepperidge Farms.

Recurring Characters: Craig, Arianna.


Mary Katherine Gallagher
Summary: Mary Katherine Gallagher (Molly Shannon) performs as her school's Little Drummer Girl.

Recurring Characters: Mary Katherine Gallagher.

Transcript


Delicious Dish
Summary: Margaret Jo McCullen (Ana Gasteyer) and Teri Rialto (Molly Shannon) discuss gingerbread and citrus.

Recurring Characters: Margaret Jo McCullen, Teri Rialto.


TV Funhouse
Summary: The Ambiguously Gay Duo rescues Santa Claus in "Don We Now... or Never".


A Christmas Greeting from Goat Boy
Recurring Characters: Goat Boy.


Weekend Update with Norm MacDonald
Summary: Beavis & Butt-Head share the meaning of Christmas with Norm MacDonald.

Transcript


Whitney Houston sings "I Believe In You & Me"


Rita Delvecchio
Summary: Rita (Cheri Oteri) makes amends with bickering neighbor Theresa (Penny Marshall).

Recurring Characters: Rita Delvecchio.


Russell & Tate
Summary: For Christmas, Russell (Tim Meadows) & Tate (Tracy Morgan) will get your money.

Recurring Characters: Russell, Tate witherspoon.


The Local News
Summary: Joe Blow (Colin Quinn) hosts a talk show in his basement.

Recurring Characters: Joe Blow.


Whitney Houston sings "I Go To The Rock"


Goodnights



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