Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 22: Episode 13

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


February 15th, 1997

Chevy Chase




Summary: Ted Koppel (Darrell Hammond) interviews actresses Debbie Reynolds (Cheri Oteri), Madonna (Ana Gasteyer), and Courtney Love (Molly Shannon), who were all snubbed for this year's Oscar nominations.

Recurring Characters: Ted Koppel, Debbie Reynolds, Madonna, Courtney Love.


Chevy Chase's Monologue
Summary: Chevy Chase introduces his faux supportive family members.


Home Security Decoys
Summary: Bill Tasker (Mark McKinney) touts the menacing dummies that keep real criminals away.

Note: Repeat from: 10/19/96.

White House For Sale
Summary: President Bill Clinton's (Darrell Hammond) advisor (Chevy Chase) outlines the administration's desperate fundraising ploys.

Recurring Characters: President Bill Clinton, Bob Dole.


O.J. Simpson Punitive and Compensatory Damages Telethon
Summary: While emceeing his own telethon, O.J. Simpson (Tim Meadows) seems unfazed and surprised that donations aren't just rolling in.

Recurring Characters: O.J. Simpson, Mike Tyson, Harry Caray.

The Culps
Summary: Marty (Will Ferrell) & Bobbie Mohan-Culp (Ana Gasteyer) sing a medley at their at niece's Sweet 16 party.

Recurring Characters: Marty Culp, Bobbie Mohan-Culp.


Smokey and the Bandit
Summary: Re-mastered in time for its 20th anniversary re-release, "Smokey (Darrell Hammond) and the Bandit (Norm MacDonald)" now includes a deleted scene featuring a truck-driving Yoda.

Recurring Characters: Burt Reynolds, Jerry Reed.


Charlie Rose
Summary: Goat Boy (Jim Breuer) and Cow-Man (Chase) square off on Charlie Rose's (Mark McKinney) panel discussion.

Recurring Characters: Charlie Rose, Goat Boy, Leslie Abramson.

Weekend Update with Norm MacDonald
Summary: Colin Quinn comments on the President Clinton/Paula Jones scandal.


Live performs "Lakini's Juice"

7 Action News
Summary: News anchor Jeff Proctor (Chevy Chase) can't stop himself from making up false stories.

The Zimmermans
Summary: Josh (Chris Kattan) and Laura Zimmerman (Cheri Oteri) play First Date to liven up their traditional married life.

Recurring Characters: Josh Zimmerman, Laura Zimmerman.

Fitting Room
Summary: To a man's (Norm MacDonald) chagrin, a janitor (Will Ferrell) and a store manager (Chevy Chase) peep on his wife (Molly Shannon) as she changes in a fitting room.

Live performs "Heropsychodreamer"

Chopper 4
Summary: Mr. Caminetti (Chevy Chase) is vexed when news stand owner Andrew (Mark McKinney) can't stop talking about Chopper 4.



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