Chopper 4

Andrew.....Mark McKinney
Mr. Cavanetti.....Chevy Chase



[ open in front of Andrew's newsstand, as Mr. Cavanetti walks up ]

Andrew: Hey, morning, Mr. Cavanetti! How you doing?

Mr. Cavanetti: Morning, Alex.

Andrew: Andrew! The name's Andrew.

Mr. Cavanetti: Andrew.. whatever. The Times, please.

Andrew: Yeah, here you go. [ pulls it out of his coat pocket ] Kept one warm for you, Mr. Cavanetti!

Mr. Cavanetti: Oh, thank you very much, kept one warm for me, well that's..

Andrew: Hey! Did you see the Chopper 4 on TV today, Mr. Cavanetti!

Mr. Cavanetti: No.. I didn't.

Andrew: Ya! Chopper 4 was flying all over the place! Chopper 4 saw a lot of traffic, ho boy!

Mr. Cavanetti: [ uncomfortable with this conversation ] Yeah.. I.. I.. I.. it's a good thing I walked today!

Andrew: Yeah! It's a good thing you walked today! Hey! did you hear that Chopper 4's got a new camera! Yeah! It can see through fog!

Mr. Cavanetti: Yeah, I think I did hear that somewhere..

Andrew: I told you about it!

Mr. Cavanetti: Oh.

Andrew: Yeah! It couldn't used to see through no fog!

Mr. Cavanetti: Chopper 4?

Andrew: Yeah! Hey, you know what?

Mr. Cavanetti: No.

Andrew: Channel 5.. it ain't got no Chopper 4!

Mr. Cavanetti: I'm willing to bet that Channel doesn't have a Chopper 4, either.

Andrew: Yeah, you're right! I just found out about Channel 5 today!

Mr. Cavanetti: You did?

Andrew: Yeah!

Mr. Cavanetti: Ah. Gotta go, Albert..

Andrew: Andrew!

Mr. Cavanetti: Oh. Andrew. Sorry.

Andrew: Where you going, Mr. Cavanetti?

Mr. Cavanetti: Huh? Oh, uh.. I just gotta meet my wife for a movie uptown.

Andrew: Oh, yeah! Are you two of you's gonna go see Chopper 4!

Mr. Cavanetti: Geez.. No. We're going to see a movie. you know, one of those big IMAX movies.

Andrew: Oh, IMAX! Those are like magic movies! Hey! You know what would make a great IMAX movie, Mr. Cavanetti!

Mr. Cavanetti: Chopper 4?

Andrew: Yeah, Chopper 4! You could see through the fog in 3D! I wonder what that would be like!

Mr. Cavanetti: Okay, Gordon..

Andrew: Andrew!

Mr. Cavanetti: Right.. well.. I'm gonna be late for the movie..

Andrew: Hey! You know, I went to an IMAX movie once, Mr. Cavenetti, I didn't even make it into the theater! The poster gave the dizzies, I had to lie down on the sidewalk!

Mr. Cavanetti: [ confused ] You had to what?

Andrew: Yeah, yeah! The cold concrete makes the dizzies go away!

Mr. Cavanetti: Well.. maybe you should just stick to Chopper 4 on TV.

Andrew: Yeah! Well, I plan on doing that! Most definitely! Watching in my basement apartment with my fourteen cats - Alan, Sidney, Chopper 4, Bridget..

Mr. Cavanetti: Well.. you know what, Andrew..?

Andrew: Andrew!

Mr. Cavanetti: Andrew. A friend of mine is a news director over there at Channel 4..

Andrew: [ excited ] What?!

Mr. Cavanetti: Maybe I could, uh..

Andrew: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Does he know Chopper 4!

Mr. Cavanetti: Well, the station owns Chopper 4..

Andrew: Hey, no one could own Chopper 4, Mr. Cavanetti! It can see through fog!

Mr. Cavanetti: So I hear.

Andrew: Yeah! You think your friend could let me meet Chopper 4!

Mr. Cavanetti: Well, maybe.. let me talk to him, we'll see..

Andrew: [ swooning ] Oh.. I'm getting the dizzies.. I gotta lie down on the sidewalk now.. [ lays down ]

Mr. Cavanetti: Slow down.. easy boy.. it's gonna be fine..

Andrew: Oh, Mr. Cavanetti.. thank you so much.. thank you so much for getting me a ride on Chopper 4..

Mr. Cavanetti: I don't think there'll actually be a ride, but maybe you can sit in it while it's on the ground..

Andrew: Oh, sitting in it will do! Thank you very much, Mr. Cavanetti! [ pulls at his hand ]

Mr. Cavanetti: Okay, no problem.. [ swats Andrew's hand with his newspaper ] Gotta get going.. take care. [ walks off ]

[ cut to newspaper headline "Man Steals Chopper Four, Whereabouts Unknown" with Andrew's picture next to it ]

[ cut to Chopper 4 flying the the skies of New York ]

Andrew's Voice: Wow! I'm riding in Chopper 4! I can see through fog!

[ fade ]


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