Larry King's News & Views I

Larry King.....Norm MacDonald

[Bespectacled, suspender-wearing talk show host Larry King bends over his typewriter and cranks out his newspaper column.]

Announcer: If you're not reading "Larry King's News & Views" in USA Today, then you're missing out on the issues that matter.

Larry King: [into the camera] This is "News and Views." Here's my two cents, gang. If you only see one film the rest of your life, it should be - "Dante's Peak"!

Yours truly will be in Branson, Missouri next week for an exclusive interview with - Eddie Rabbitt.

The more I think about it, the more I appreciate water. A great, great beverage.

Is it just me or is anyone else sick and tired - of the Special Olympics?

Promoter Don King: one class act!

I don't ever remember wearing a hat. Not once. Not ever!

I dined with O. J. Simpson in Los Angeles last week and, take it from me, folks, the Juice is still a hero wherever he goes.

Of all the causes of death, burning in a fire is still Numero Uno in the pain department.

There isn't a better chef in the world of food than Chef Boyardee.

I have no tolerance for people who bury other people alive.

Announcer: This has been USA Today's "News & Views with Larry King."

Submitted Anonymously

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