Larry King's News & Views II

Larry King.....Norm MacDonald

[Bespectacled, suspender-wearing talk show host Larry King bends over his typewriter and cranks out his newspaper column.]

Announcer: If you're still not reading "Larry King's News & Views," then you shouldn't be reading at all.

Larry King: [into the camera] Blue is wonderful but yellow is the best color.

I don't care what anyone says, in my book, Jeffrey Dahmer was not a cannibal.

When actor Harry Hamlin is on the tube, it's impossible to look away.

Two "must-dos" when visiting Atlanta: you must visit the Martin Luther King Memorial and you must try the cole slaw at Ezra's.

Here's my question of the day, folks: Why are reservations good if you make them at a restaurant but bad if you force Indians to live on them?

Of all the hosts of "The Tonight Show," one of the two or three greatest has got to be Johnny Carson.

Announcer: This has been USA Today's "News & Views with Larry King."

Larry King: Somebody ought to tell all these cigarette smokers - it just ain't safe, gang!

Submitted Anonymously

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