Saturday Night Live Transcripts
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Season 24: Episode 3
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 Air Date:
Host:
Musical Guest:
Special Guests:
Cameos:
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October 17th, 1998
Lucy Lawless
Elliot Smith
None
Tina Fey
Paula Pell
Judge Judy Sheindlin
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NBC News Special Report
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Summary: Arrogant Republicans Henry Hyde (Will Ferrell), Jesse Helms (Darrell Hammond) and Mary Bono (Cheri Oteri) vex America and falunt their inpenetrability.
Recurring Characters: Tom Brokaw, Henry Hyde, Jesse Helms.
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Lucy Lawless' Monologue
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Summary: Audience members think Lucy Lawless and "Xena: Warrior Princess" are lesbians.
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Shirt In A Can
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Summary: Another stained shirt. Dammit! A can of spray paint will solve your wardrobe problems.
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Judge Judy
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Summary: Judge Judy (Cheri Oteri) hears the case of a stripper clown (Lucy Lawless) before the real Judy Sheindlin interrupts the proceedings.
Recurring Characters: Judge Judy, Burt.
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The History of Presidential Scandal I
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Summary: Andrew Johnson slept with a bird.
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MSNBC: White House In Crisis
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Summary: Female MSNBC reporters treat the Clinton scandal with a slumber party mentality.
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TV Funhouse
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Summary:Despite their animosity toward one another, Howard Stern and "Saturday Night Live" are a ratings success when bred together in Rob Smigel's "Fun With Real Audio" segment.
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Stevie Nicks' Fajita Roundup
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Summary: Stevie Nicks (Lucy Lawless) sings fajita-themed parodies of her popular songs to promote her new restaurant.
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The How Do You Say, Ah Yes, Show
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Summary: Sexy Antonio Banderas (Chris Kattan) chats with the author of a book on Lyme Disease (Lucy Lawless).
Recurring Characters: Antonio Banderas.
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The History of Presidential Scandal II
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Summary: Lyndon B. Johnson's whores had a special nickname for him.
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Weekend Update with Colin Quinn
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Summary: Colin Quinn is nearly stabbed twice by Chucky the murderous doll, who pretends to deliver serious commentaries on the Clinton scandal and the World Series.
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Elliot Smith performs "Waltz #2"
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Biography
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Summary: Drunken Jack Perkins (Darrell Hammond) narrates a biography on the life of Puff Daddy (Tim Meadows).
Recurring Characters: Jack Perkins, Puff Daddy.
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Terrance Maddox
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Summary: .
Recurring Characters: Terrance Maddox.
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Goth Talk
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Summary: .
Recurring Characters: Circe Nightshade, Azrael Abyss.
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The Culps
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Summary: Marty (Will Ferrell) and Bobbie Mohan-Culp (Ana Gasteyer) sing a medley at the World Series.
Recurring Characters: Marty Culp, Bobbie Mohan-Culp.
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SNL Transcripts
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