Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 24: Episode 3





98c: Lucy Lawless / Elliot smith

Lucy Lawless' Monologue

.....Lucy Lawless
Male Audience Member #1.....Jimmy Fallon
Male Audience Member #2.....Horatio Sanz
Female Audience Member #1.....Tina Fey
Female Audience Member #2.....Paula Pell

Lucy Lawless: Thank you, thank you. Thank you very much. Thanks for the applause. I'm not sure if that's for me or because the Yankee's are winning tonight. You know, I'm from New Zealand, where we film my show "Xena: Warrior Princess", and my character..

Male Audience Member #1: [ interrupting ] Lucy? Lucy?

Lucy Lawless: Yes?

Male Audience Member #1: Hi. Big fan of "Xena".

Lucy Lawless: Thanks. [ smiles ]

Male Audience Member #1: Are you proud to play a lesbian?

Lucy Lawless: Well.. uh.. actually, I don't define my character, Xena, as a lesbian. I like to think of her as a fierce warrior who travels..

Male Audience Member #2: Hi, Lucy? [ pause ] Actually, it's weird, because you and I actually have something in common.

Lucy Lawless: What's that?

Male Audience Member #2: We're both into chicks! [ turns aside to high-five Make Audience Member #1 ]

Lucy Lawless: Okay, you're a little confused.. Like I said, Xena isn't necessarily "into chicks". Uh.. just because a character might be gay dosn't mean the actor is..

Female Audience Member #1: [ interrupting ] Hey, Lucy? I think you're really great.

Lucy Lawless: [ smiles ] Thank you!

Female Audience Member #1: How about after the show you and me go grab a beer and shoot some pool?

Lucy Lawless: [ mildly annoyed ] I'm afraid I can't. Thanks, though. Uh.. does anyone have a question that isn't about Xena's sexual preference? Yes, Sir?

Female Audience Member #2: It's "Ma'am". [ pause ] When Draco had to close the porthole to the alternative Xenaverse.. - how'd you do that?

Lucy Lawless: Well actually we used computer generated imagery to create the porthole door. Does that answer your question?

Female Audience Member #2: [ points her finger back and forth between herself and Lucy ] Are you feeling it?

Lucy Lawless: [ changes subject ] Okay, we've got a great show tonight. Elliot Smith is here! So, stick around, we'll be right back!


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