Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 24: Episode 5


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:


November 7th, 1998

David Spade

Eagle-Eye Cherry

None

Brad Pitt

Chris Rock

David Spade's Therapy Session
Summary: Prior to coming back to Studio 8-H to host "Saturday Night Live," David Spade outlines his fear of success to his therapist, Brad Pitt.

Transcript


Montage


David Spade's Monologue
Summary: David Spade jokes about about the suspects on "COPS" and a drunken encounter with polar bears at the zoo.

Also Hosted: 04n.


Mercury Mistress
Summary: The luxury car that drivers can have sex with.

Transcript


Monica's Interviewers
Recurring Characters: Monica Lewinsky, Barbara Walters, Larry Flynt, Diane Sawyer, Phil Donahue, Howard Stern, Oprah Winfrey.


Mack North I
Summary: After beating his opponent Fred Peete in the 6th District race by 8%, Mack North (Will Ferrell) gloats of his victory in a post-election attack ad.

Transcript


Accruing Equity & Making Hot, Sweet Love
Summary: Lawrence Greekmont (Will Ferrell) and his guest panelists will discuss the day's financial news after they get down to the real business - talking about making sweet love.

Transcript


Mack North II
Summary: In his second post-election attack ad, Mack North (Will Ferrell) harrasses loser Fred Peete (Chris Parnell) in a Target parking lot.

Transcript


The Sensitive Drill Sergeant


Mango & Kiwi
Recurring Characters: Mango, Harvey.


Mack North III
Summary: In his final post-election attack ad, Mack North (Will Ferrell) mocks loser Fred Peete with a face mask.


Happy Birthday, Grandma
Summary: A dad (Wil Ferrell) forces his three kids to sing "Happy Birthday" over the phone to Grandma, and they'd better not screw up and make him look like an ass.


Weekend Update with Colin Quinn
Summary: David Spade returns to the Update desk to deliver a Hollywood Minute, with a little help from a David Spade hand puppet.

Transcript


Eagle-Eye Cherry performs "Save Tonight"


"Felicity" Shoot


Dr. Laura
Summary: Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Ana Gasteyer) berates her callers on Take Your Child to Work Day.

Transcript


Bachelor Party
Summary: Shane the Chaperone (David Spade) outlines the ground rules to a group of guys attending a bachelor party.

Transcript


Goodnights



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