Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 24: Episode 5





98e: David Spade / Eagle-Eye Cherry

Mack North II

Mack North.....Will Ferrell
Fred Peete.....Chris Parnell

Announcer: Fred Peete lost the election to Mack North, but Mack has got more to say about Fred Peete.

Mack North: What are you running from, Fred? A little thing called the truth? You're afraid people might find out you're an idiot? I think the word is out!

Announcer: Fred Peete won't respond to the most recent charges. Why? He says the election is "over". He says Mack North is "wasting money". He says he's "out of money". Yet, Fred Peete's kids go to private school, and Fred Peete goes to a chiropractor.

Mack North: A chiropractor? No money? Yeah, right. What about the facts? Like the fact that you lost! Like the fact that you're kids are that extra kind of chubby that you just know they're gonna grow up fat! Stop trying to hide behind the Red Cross, Fred Peete!

[ Mack North harasses Fred Peete in the parking lot of Target ]

Mack North: Hey, Mr. Red Cross, why won't you debate me, huh! You loser! And don't tell me, "Because the election's over!" [ takes Fred's car keys ]

Fred Peete: Look, will you please leave me and my family alone! you are a sick man!

Mack North: Yeah, I am sick! I'm sick of losers like you, Fred Peete!

Fred Peete: Will you please give me my keys back..?

Mack North: [ taunting Fred further ] You want you keys? Get your keys! Huh! Get your keys! Get your keys, you little ass!

[ Fred manages to get his keys and jumps into his van, crying ]

Mack North: Oh, you can drive an Aerostar, but you don't have enough money for commercials, huh? Is that what it is?! Hey, you are a loser! You lost big-time, Fred! You lost! Your little tubby kid -

[ Fred drives off in a hurry ]

Mack North: [ to his camera crew ] Let's get him! Let's get him!

Announcer: Paid for by Mack North.


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