Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 24: Episode 14
February 20th, 1999
The Ladies' Man
: Ladies Man Leon Phelps (Tim Meadows) and model Stephanie Seymour demonstrate how to pick up women in a bar and abandon them soon after.
: Leon Phelps.
Bill Murray's Monologue
: An excited Bill Murray climbs about the stage and raves about "Footloose: the Musical."
: Sam (Bill Murray) and Jane (Molly Shannon) challenge Jim (Will Ferrell) and Nancy (Ana Gasteyer) to a competitive game of Yahtzee.
The Knicks City Dancers
: A traveling salesman (Bill Murray) touts the mineral water that's dredged from Lake Erie.
: Repeat from
The Quotable Caddyshack
: Bill Murray and Chevy Chase help yuppies stay hip with the ultimate "Caddyshack" reference guide.
: Tom Wilkins, Cass Van Rye.
Weekend Update with Colin Quinn
: President Bill Clinton.
Lucinda Williams performs "Can't Let Go"
A Bear Ate My Parents!
: During David's (Chris Parnell) elegant art party, a stray guest (Horatio Sanz) constantly yells about a bear having eaten his parents.
Third Eye Bookstore
Lucinda Williams performs "Too Cool To Be Forgotten"
Steve Baxter, Hollywood Gynecologist
: Steve Baxter (Bill Murray) advertises his services with the help of a one-man Las Vegas lounge act (Chris Parnell).