Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 24: Episode 16


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:


March 20th, 1999

Drew Barrymore

Garbage

None

Edward Norton

Academy Awards Pre-Show
Summary: Joan Rivers (Ana Gasteyer) morphs into a demon while bothering celebrities during the Academy Awards Pre-Show.

Recurring Characters: Joan Rivers, John Travolta, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Melissa Rivers.


Montage


Drew Barrymore's Monologue
Summary: Drew Barrymore sings about her wild Hollywood lifestyle over the years.

Also Hosted: 82g, 01c, 03l.

Transcript


Jeopardy!
Summary: Sean Connery (Darrell Hammond) competes against Calista Flockhart (Drew Barrymore) and Nicolas Cage (Jimmy Fallon).

Recurring Characters: Alex Trebek, Sean Connery, Calista Flockhart.

Transcript


Banana Republic
Summary: Sweater folders (Drew Barrymore, Chris Kattan) at the Banana Republic panic when a customer (Horatio Sanz) won't tell them how he's doing.


VH1: Behind the Music
Summary: Toni Tennille (Drew Barrymore) and Daryl "The Captain" Dragon (Edward Norton) meekly brag of their musical success.

Recurring Characters: Toni Tennille.

Transcript


The How Do You Say? Ah Yes, Show
Summary: Melanie Griffith (Drew Barrymore) tries to get sexy with her self-interested husband, Antonio Banderas (Chris Kattan).

Note: For the live show, Chris Kattan pasted fake pubic hair to his legs without Lorne Michaels' knowledge.

Recurring Characters: Antonio Banderas, Seņor Guadalupe Ramirez.

Transcript


Fun With Real Audio


Weekend Update with Colin Quinn
Summary: President Bill Clinton (Darrell Hammond) wants Hillary to run for Senate so he can score a little alone time. Chris Kattan interprets Cher's new song, "Believe."

Recurring Characters: President Bill Clinton.

Transcript


Garbage performs "Special"
Transcript


Dog Show
Recurring Characters: Miss Colleen, David Larry.


VH1: Behind the Music
Summary: A Rick Allen imposter (Chris Parnell) pretends to have only one arm.


Terrence Maddox & Lucy
Recurring Characters: Terrence Maddox.


Garbage performs "When I Grow Up"


VH1: Behind the Music
Summary: Fred Schneider (Will Ferrell) admits he makes up song titles by matching odd words together.

Recurring Characters: Fred Schneider.


Goodnights
Transcript



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