Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 24: Episode 17
April 10th, 1999
Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
A Message From the President of the United States
: After getting in trouble for saying something truthful for once, President Bill Clinton (Darrell Hammond) announces he'll go back to lying in the future.
: President Bill Clinton.
John Goodman's Monologue
: John Goodman tries to convince the audience that, despite the name recognition, tonight's show is not a rerun.
Adult Literacy Program
: 50-year old Arthur Dugan (John Goodman) may be illiterate, but he still "rules the school."
Shaun Mondavi Vineyards
Wrap It Up
: Deana Nolan-Gray.
Weekend Update with Colin Quinn
: Tracy Morgan comment on the FUBU clothing line for black people. Collette Reardon (Cheri Oteri) comments on prescription drug use.
: Collette Reardon.
Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers perform "Swingin'"
: Santa Claus, Mrs. Claus.
Happy Smile Patrol
: Pre-recorded children's program is continuously interrupted by breaking news of a crime spree performed by its stars (Cheri Oteri, John Goodman, Will Ferrell) the night before.
VH1: Behind the Music
: Bun E. Carlos (Horatio Sanz).
Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers perform "Room At The Top"
Cathouse Computer System
: A john (John Goodman) at a whorehouse is embarrassed by the installation of their new computer system.