Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 25: Episode 5


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:


November 13th, 1999

Garth Brooks

Chris Gaines

None

Lorne Michaels

Paula Pell

Special Report
Summary: Diane Carbonal (ana Gasteyer) is on the scene when a crazed gunman (Horatio Sanz) attacks NRA Headquarters.

Recurring Characters: Tom Brokaw, Diane Carbonal, Charlton Heston.


Montage


Garth Brooks' Monologue
Summary: Garth Brooks is secretly pleased to discover that Mango (Chris Kattan) has a crush on Chris Gaines.

Recurring Characters: Mango.


Today is Never Yesterday
Summary: Secret agent 007, James Bond (Chris Parnell), learns that he has 107 venereal diseases, and must alert all his former conquests.

Recurring Characters: James Bond.

Transcript


The Smurfs
Summary: NBC's upcoming epic mini-series devotes itself to the lives of the blue cartoon creatures.

Recurring Characters: Celine Dion, Sean Connery, Al Pacino, Little Richard, Meat Loaf.

Transcript


Boston Teens
Summary: Boston teenager Pat "Sully" Sullivan (Jimmy Fallon) fools around while his girlfriend Denise McDenna (Rachel Dratch) tries to get a job at Hillshire Farms.

Recurring Characters: Sully, Denise.

Transcript


Tracy Confronts Garth
Summary: Tracy Morgan tells Garth Brooks that he thinks Chris Gaines is a queer.


Great Moments in Corporate History
Summary: A slip-up while introducing the Warner-Lambert team ends their merger with American Home Products.

Transcript


Express Flowers
Summary: Donny (Garth Brooks) can't seem to create a card message to match the flowers he wants to send to his girlfriend.

Transcript


Weekend Update with Colin Quinn
Summary: Weekend Update's Millennium profile names basketball player Darryl Dawkins the Man Of The Millennium. Molly Shannon's "The World is Crazy!!! commentary cites Julianna Margulies for leaving "ER."

Transcript


Chris Gaines (Brooks) performs "Way Of The Girl"


Mango
Summary: Garth Brooks reveals that Chris Gaines was just a ploy to get close to Mango (Chris Kattan).

Recurring Characters: Mango.


The Devil Can't Write A Love Song
Summary: After his girlfriend (Ana Gasteyer) leaves him, musician Milo Jenkins (Garth Brooks) decides to sell his soul for a hit single, but tone-deaf Lucifer (Will Ferrell) fails to be of any real assistance.

Transcript


Wilson's
Summary: Rude clerk Nadeen (Cheri Oteri) tells gift exchangers to "Simmer down now!"

Recurring Characters: Nadeen.

Transcript


Royal Deluxe II
Note: Repeat from 09/24/77.


WXLU Facelift
Summary: A kids' show motif fails as a newscast intro sequence.


Goodnights



SNL Transcripts