Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 25: Episode 12
February 12th, 2000
A Message From the First-Lady of the United States
: Hillary Clinton, President Bill Clinton.
Julianna Margulies' Monologue
: Julianne Margulies shows a clip from her new veterinary-based "ER" spoof.
: Kids are bored with their pet cat until they discover the fun of molding fun toys out of cat poop.
: Repeat from
The Bird Family
: Paul Blank's (Chris Parnell) girlfriend (Julianne Margulies) is grossed out when she discovers that his family has to pre-chew his food for him because of a medical deficiency.
E! Fashion Week
: Steve Kmetko, Donatella Versace, Elton John, Elizabeth Hurley.
The Crocodile Hunter
: Steve Irwin, Terry Irwin.
Weekend Update with Colin Quinn
: Joy Lipton.
DMX performs "Party Up"
Erectile Dysfunction Ad
: Viagra-style ad is really a front for the Tootsie Roll company.
: Goodie two shoes Jessica Simpson (Cheri Oteri) hosts a talk show for virgins waiting for marriage before having sex.
DMX performs "What's My Name"
The Bloder Brothers
: Free-associating losers Kip (Jimmy Fallon) and Wayne Bloder (Chris Parnell) hit on a woman (Julianne Margulies) at a bar.
: Wayne Bloder, Kip Bloder.
: William Shatner.