Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 25: Episode 13


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:


February 19th, 2000

Ben Affleck

Fiona Apple

None

Gwyneth Paltrow

G.E. Smith

Nightline
Summary: Peanuts characters appear on "Nightline" to mourn the passing of Charles Schultz.

Recurring Characters: Ted Koppel, Franklin.

Transcript


Montage


Ben Affleck's Monologue
Summary: Despite the need to do so, Gwyneth Paltrow joins Ben Affleck onstage to share his limelight.

Transcript


Victoria's Secret
Summary: A pair of talking breasts promote the lingerie company.

Transcript


Ben Loves Mango
Summary: Ben Affleck finds himself enchanted by Mango (Chris Kattan) at a celebritiy event, but the male dancer is only interested in meeting Matt Damon. Taking a cue from Damon's movie, "The Talented Mr. Ripley", Ben disguises himself as his buddy and woos Mango into his apartment.

Recurring Characters: Mango.

Transcript


Boston Teens
Summary: Sully (Jimmy Fallon) sees Denise (Rachel Dratch) flirting with Donny Bartalotti (Ben Affleck) at a party.

Recurring Characters: Sully, Denise, Frank, Donny Bartalotti.


TV Funhouse
Summary: Rob Smigel presents "The All New Adventures of Mr. T" (Tracy Morgan), who's back and ready to work!

Transcript


Fretts Film Forum


Fanatic
Summary: Crazed fan (Ben Affleck) gets to spend the day with Anna Nicole Smith (Molly Shannon).

Recurring Characters: Anna Nicole Smith.


Weekend Update with Colin Quinn
Summary: Colin Quinn examines live press conferences held by Republican presidential contenders George W. Bush (Will Ferrell), John McCain (Chris Parnell), and Alan Keyes (Tim Meadows).

Recurring Characters: George W. Bush, John McCain, Alan Keyes.

Transcript


Fiona Apple performs "Limp"


The Zimmermans
Summary: Josh (Chris Kattan) and Laura Zimmerman (Cheri Oteri) flirt with a sleazy salesman (Ben Affleck) while shopping for a new car.

Recurring Characters: Josh Zimmerman, Laura Zimmerman.

Transcript


Police Recruit Fitness Testing
Summary: At 50 years of age, Sally O'Malley (Molly Shannon) wants to join the police academy.

Recurring Characters: Salley O'Malley.

Transcript


Trilocaine
Transcript


Who Wants To Be Groped By An Eleven-Thousandaire?
Summary: A semi-rich redneck (Ben Affleck) favors confused guy (Chris Kattan) over a pair of desperate brides.


Goodnights
Transcript



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