Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 25: Episode 19




99s: Britney Spears

The Demarco Brothers

.....Britney Spears
Assistant.....Tim Meadows
Kyle Demarco.....Chris Kattan
Sean Demarco.....Chris Parnell
Dancer.....Ana Gasteyer

(Dancer finishes up audition)

Britney Spears: Uh, thank you, great moves. We'll keep in touch alright?

Dancer: Ok, thank you

Britney Spears: Who's next?

Assistant: Uh, Kyle Demarco, and his brother Sean Demarco

Kyle DeMarco: (furiously shaking Britney's hand) Oh my God, Hi, Hi, how are you? Oh my God Hi, hi, nice to meet you

Sean DeMarco: Let me shake her hand.

Kyle DeMarco: Oh my God my heart's going crazy

Sean DeMarco: Oh my God you just said "crazy" like her song

Kyle DeMarco: Oh my God, I totally did, I didn't mean to do that, oh my God!

Assistant: Ok guys, calm down. Calm down guys

Britney Spears: Ok, look guys I'm going on tour very soon and I'm looking for dancers with a lot of energy.

Assistant: Right so, uh, let's see what you guys got.

Kyle DeMarco: Ok...(referring to shirt) Give it up...

Sean DeMarco: For Britney...You know it...

Kyle DeMarco: TOTALLY! (laughs)

Britney Spears: Those are nice.

Sean DeMarco: We stayed up all night making them

Kyle DeMarco: Yeah we totally missed Felicity....ah ok ok ok

(They get a serious look on their faces and they turn to each other)

Kyle DeMarco: Freedom

Sean DeMarco: Freedom

Kyle DeMarco: Trust

Sean DeMarco: Trust

Kyle DeMarco: Wings

Sean DeMarco: Wings

Kyle DeMarco: Give it up!

Sean DeMarco: Woo!

(Beginning of "Oops, I Did it Again" plays then breaks into chorus-while that is playing, the Demarco Brothers are doing dance moves related to the lyrics of the song)

Kyle DeMarco: Oh my God,Oh my God you were so good

Sean DeMarco: No you were so good

Kyle DeMarco: I know totally I was, I was totally good I know that!

Britney Spears: That was really interesting guys, um, you wanna show me something else?

Kyle DeMarco: Yeah, if you just give us a second here we will. God, what is that?

Sean DeMarco: You ok-you ok?

Kyle DeMarco: Yeah I'm fine, I'm fine...how are my bangs?

Sean DeMarco: They could be longer-uh-how are my pot marks?

Kyle DeMarco: You can't see them.

Britney Spears: You guys we really have a lot of other people to see-

Kyle DeMarco: Yeah, I know, ok, God, I know this, ok, God, what is this?...Ok...Let's do this

Sean DeMarco: For Britney

Kyle DeMarco: (points to shirt) Totally!

("You Drive Me Crazy" plays-the Brothers do motions to the sound of the bells with their heads and hips...Britney stops music)

Kyle DeMarco: Uh, oh, uuuuh!

Britney Spears: Ok, you guys were just wobbling

Kyle DeMarco: Yeah, ok and you just interrupted us. Thank you very much!

Assistant: You guys got something else you can show us?

Britney Spears: Yeah guys we're really running out of time.

Kyle DeMarco: Yeah, ok Little Miss Pissy, how 'bout you watch your lip?!

Sean DeMarco: Hey Kyle!

Kyle DeMarco: I just don't get it you know?

Sean DeMarco: Kyle?

Kyle DeMarco: What?

Sean DeMarco: Look at me. Look at me. You take that fire that's going on inside of you right now, and you put it into the dance! Alright?

Kyle DeMarco: Ok, ok.

Sean DeMarco: Remember what Nanny Demarco said, "If you dream, dream out loud"

Kyle DeMarco: Ok.

Assistant: That's really great you guys but, uh, we gotta keep this thing moving because if we don't, I may have to shoot myself in the face.

Britney Spears: Yeah, you guys wannna try another number or something?

Kyle DeMarco: Yeah, we will, if you just give us a second ok? Uh, what, uh?

Sean DeMarco: I know, terrible.

(Puts on "Hit Me Baby One More Time" attire...plays song...Brothers start to dance around the table and then start spinning...Britney stops the music)

Britney Spears: Ok, you guys were just spinning. That was awful!

Kyle DeMarco: (crying)

Sean DeMarco: What do you want from us? Do you want us to BLEED?!

Kyle DeMarco: (crying) This business is so hard, it is so hard!

Sean DeMarco: I know, I know. Come on let's just go buy some headbands or something ok?

Kyle DeMarco: Ok...YOU PEOPLE!!!

Assistant: Man those guys were terrible.

Britney Spears: Totally...oh my God!

Assistant: Well, the next audition isn't for another hour, you wanna practice the new number?

Britney Spears: Yeah, sure.

Assistant: Alright.

(Turns on "You Drive Me Crazy")

Assistant: Wobble, Wobble, Wobble, Wobble, Wobble, Wobble, now spin, spin, spin, yeah.

(fades to black)


Submitted by: Mia Velarde


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