Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 25: Episode 19





99s: Britney Spears

America's Worst Moments

Spokesman.....Chris Parnell

[ show image of INS agent pointing gun at Elian Gonzalez in the closet ]

Spokesman: Elian Gonzalez. The young, innocent refugee whose incredible saga ended with one of the most memorable and horrifying scenes in recent history. Whether you blame the government, the protesters, or Elian's relatives, we all agree that this final image is simpy awful.

[ show the Elian image on a plate ]

And now, you can own it, on your very own commemorative plate! It's Elain Under Duress, part of the brand new America's Worst Moments commemorative plates series from Zelman Collectibles. For just $129, a new plate will arrive at your door monthly, each depicting one of the most embarrassing events in our nation's history.

You'll get the Iran-Contra Scandal plate, beautiful McCarthy Hearings plate, the Clarence Thomas Coke Can plate, and of course the Reform Party plate.

These are the moments every American is ashamed of. And what better way to remember our shame, than by displaying it proudly in your own home on fine, imported porcelain. But the America's Worst Moments series isn't limited to politics. You'll also get plaes that recall these terrible events: Woodstock '99, Marisa Tomei's Academy Award, Dennis Rodman's Crossdressing Phase, That Cher Video on the Navy Ship, Andrew "Dice" Clay, Roseanne Singing the National Anthem, and many, many more.

This collection simply can't be missed. You may cancel at any time, and the Elian Under Duress plate is yours to keep. Call today, and bring America's most humiliating failures into your living room.


SNL Transcripts