Saturday Night Live Transcripts
David Spade's Therapy Session
: Prior to coming back to Studio 8-H to host "Saturday Night Live," David Spade outlines his fear of success to his therapist, Brad Pitt.
Accruing Equity & Making Hot, Sweet Love
: Lawrence Greekmont (Will Ferrell) and his guest panelists will discuss the day's financial news after they get down to the real business - talking about making sweet love.
: Shane the Chaperone (David Spade) outlines the ground rules to a group of guys attending a bachelor party.
: After being wrongfully jailed, Andrew (Rob Riggle) shares a cell with Spider (David Spade), an obnoxious inmate who talks the talk but never quite walks the walk.
: While filming a new action-comedy with Vin Diesel (Horatio Sanz), David Spade learns that his stunt double is a woman (Amy Poehler) who portrays him effeminately.
: UPS delivery guy (David Spade) makes awkward banter with an office receptionist (Rachel Dratch) until he works up the nerve to ask her out. Things become more and more awkward after she turns him down.
Dirtball and Burnout Convention
: Dirtballs and burnouts will get together this weekend for rowdy fun and hijinks.