Saturday Night Live Transcripts
NBC Special Report
: Osama bin Laden (Seth Meyers) delivers a videotaped message about the U.S. Election and Ashlee Simpson's appearance on last week's episode of "Saturday Night Live."
: Tom Brokaw, Osama bin Laden.
You Call This A House, Do Ya?
: "Buildin'" Finn McQuinn (Seth Meyers) and the home repair crew give an Irish home makeover.
Coolest Teacher At Benton Township High School
: Mr. J (Seth Meyers) is the coolest teacher in school, but faces strong competition in his new rival, the laid-back Phil (Luke Wilson).
: The head (Seth Meyers) of the Hubbard Systems retreat seminar comments on the IT technicians who played pranks on the corporate board members who drank too much during the Hawaiian party the night before.