Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 26: Episode 1
Dream Team 2000
[ each scene is shown as it is described ]
Announcer: The Dream Team. Once again, these magnificent athletes captured Olympic gold, and the hearts of a generation. And now you can capture the memories with the official Dream Team 2000 video. [ video and phone number to order appear on the screen ] Relive all their greatest moments. The high-flying dunks. The stifling defense. The occasional teamwork. And the irritating sense of entitlement. You also get the inexplicably house-style post-game interviews. Vince Carter dunking over a shorter Chinese athlete and then taunting him. And coaches swearing at referees.
This Dream Team is the fifth best Dream Team of all time. [ shows bored fans in the bleachers ] That’s why you’ll want to remember moments like:
Shaquille O’ Neal-refusing to play
Kobe Bryant-also refusing to play
And Alan Iverson – who was deemed too dangerous to travel abroad.
This is the team that annihilated France by more than 8 points, and sent those lame Lithuanians home with a humiliating 2-point loss. And then refused to shake their hands! No one touches the Dream Team!
Order today and you’ll also receive a video of other great U.S. Olympic memories like:
Gary Hall, Jr. showing off before a race.. that he almost won!
The men’s 4×100 relay team posing with their awesome muscles flexed. Suck on that, Barbados!
Amy Van Dykus spitting in her opponent’s lane before a race. [ the scene is replayed ] Yeah!
And what about this classic move? [ shows Olympic race where U.S. athlete is ahead of his opponents and taunts them by waving his hand at them ] You’re gonna have to do better than that, other countries![ both videos and phone number to order appear on the screen ] America’s the best and we won the Olympics! Order today![ fade out ]
submitted by: Tony DuMont