SNL Transcripts: Rob Lowe: 10/07/00: Dream Team 2000


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 26: Episode 1

00a: Rob Lowe / Eminem

Dream Team 2000

[ each scene is shown as it is described ]

Announcer: The Dream Team. Once again, these magnificent athletes captured Olympic gold, and the hearts of a generation. And now you can capture the memories with the official Dream Team 2000 video. [ video and phone number to order appear on the screen ] Relive all their greatest moments. The high-flying dunks. The stifling defense. The occasional teamwork. And the irritating sense of entitlement. You also get the inexplicably house-style post-game interviews. Vince Carter dunking over a shorter Chinese athlete and then taunting him. And coaches swearing at referees.

This Dream Team is the fifth best Dream Team of all time. [ shows bored fans in the bleachers ] That’s why you’ll want to remember moments like:

Shaquille O’ Neal-refusing to play

Kobe Bryant-also refusing to play

And Alan Iverson – who was deemed too dangerous to travel abroad.

This is the team that annihilated France by more than 8 points, and sent those lame Lithuanians home with a humiliating 2-point loss. And then refused to shake their hands! No one touches the Dream Team!

Order today and you’ll also receive a video of other great U.S. Olympic memories like:

Gary Hall, Jr. showing off before a race.. that he almost won!

The men’s 4×100 relay team posing with their awesome muscles flexed. Suck on that, Barbados!

Amy Van Dykus spitting in her opponent’s lane before a race. [ the scene is replayed ] Yeah!

And what about this classic move? [ shows Olympic race where U.S. athlete is ahead of his opponents and taunts them by waving his hand at them ] You’re gonna have to do better than that, other countries!

[ both videos and phone number to order appear on the screen ] America’s the best and we won the Olympics! Order today![ fade out ]

submitted by: Tony DuMont

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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