Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 26: Episode 1
Rob Lowe’s Monologue
Man #1 In Audience…..Jerry Minor
Man #2 In Audience…..Dennis McNicholas
Woman #1 In Audience…..Paula Pell
Man #3 In Audience…..Jim Downey
Rob Lowe: Thank you! I am just really excited to be here tonight, because it’s only a month away for the Presidential election, and not only do I feel like I’ve sort of learned a lot about the presidency from my role on “The West Wing”, but I really do feel honored to be part of a drama that tackles real issues faced in the White House..
Man #1 In Audience: Excuse me, Rob?
Rob Lowe: Yeah?
Man #1 In Audience: Yeah, your show is about the White House. Have you ever met President Clinton?
Rob Lowe: Yeah, I have had the privilege of spending some time with the President, as well as the First Lady.
Man #1 In Audience: So you’ve met Hillary Clinton?
Rob Lowe: Yes, I have.
Man #1 In Audience: How big is her booty?
Rob Lowe: I.. I.. I just don’t know. Uh.. I have had the privilege of spending time with the First Lady, and she is a really smart, articulate woman, and a very tough campaigner. [ points to audience member ] Yes?
Man #2 In Audience: Uh.. I have a question about Vice-President Al Gore.
Rob Lowe: Oh.. go ahead.
Man #2 In Audience: His daughters are hot.
Rob Lowe: That’s not a question.
Man #2 In Audience: Oh. Okay. Which one of his daughters do you think’s the hottest?
Rob Lowe: Well, you know, that is actually totally irrelevent.. Corinne. Corinne, she’s very hot! [ points to woman in audience ] Yes?
Woman #1 In Audience: I’m a huge fan of “The West Wing”..
Rob Lowe: Thank you very much!
Woman #1 In Audience: And I was so excited when they won nine Emmies. How many did you win?
Rob Lowe: [ pause ] None.
Woman #1 In Audience: Oh. Well.. it’s still an honor to be nominated.
Rob Lowe: I wasn’t nominated.
Woman #1 In Audience: Well.. working with so many talented actors.. is a reward in itself.
Rob Lowe: Yes. [ points to audience member ]
Man #3 In Audience: Uh.. my question isn’t about your show “The West Wing”, it’s about the actual West Wing in the White House.
Rob Lowe: Oh! Oh, I think maybe I can help you, because the set that we shoot on is an exact replica of the West Wing.
Man #3 In Audience: Oh, great. Now, is the room where they blow the president located in the West Wing, or down the hall?
Rob Lowe: [ shakes head ] I really don’t know.. you know, we have a great show tonight – Eminem is here, so wake up the kids!