Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 26: Episode 2
Inside the Actors Studio
James Lipton…..Will Ferrell
Drew Barrymoore…..Kate Hudson
[Fade in: Intro to “Inside the Actors Studio] [Fade in: James Lipton, staring at the audience]
James Lipton: When one thinks of the gratest all-time films made by mankind, in this century or in any other… one name keeps coming up again and again and again and again. That, of course, is the great cinematographer Gregg Tolland. [audience applause] He cannot be here tonight because he is dead. Ha ha ha. But a face that he would have surely filmed is here with us tonight. Please welcome the wonderful, incomparable Drew Barrmoore.[Drew comes in from off screen]
Drew Barrymore: Thank you. [shakes James’ hand] Oh, my god, it is so good to be here. It’s so magical. It’s so magical.
James Lipton: In 1982, a film was produced. A film that made not a little amount of money but in fact a great deal of mney. That film was “E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial.”
Drew Barrymore: Oh, my god, yes, yes.
James Lipton: You played Gertie, the precocious child who when she screamed at the E.T. sent a message out to the world, “I am, I am here, I am now.” If you haven’t seen the scene where Drew screams at the E.T., go right now to a place where videotapes or film are sold or rented, and buy it or rent and watch it. It is delightful. [laughs uproariously] What was it like acting with the E.T.?
Drew Barrymore: Um, I don’t know. So many feelings. [chokes up] You know, like the finger, ouch. The neck that stretched. It’s emotional. [laughs]
James Lipton: Indeed, emotional. Your family is truly Hollywood royalty, which is apparent when you annonced to the world that your next project was to be “Charlie’s Angels,” a television show which some have called the greatest show ever made… by humans. Why not a “Barney Miller” or “Starsky Hutch”?
Drew Barrymore: Well, we did start out with “Barney Miller.” Then during pre-production, we discovered there were no women in the original cast.
James Lipton: [uproarious laughing] Yes, marvelous, simply marvelous. You are a delight.
Drew Barrymore: Oh, you are a delight, too. It’s so magical.
James Lipton: In 1995, you do a film, a film which some call a “chick flick,” meaning a movie primarily intend for the opposite gender of myself. [laughs]
Drew Barrymore: [laughs] Yes.
James Lipton: The film, of course, “Boys On The Side.” And on that film, you worked with the Whoopi Goldberg. What was that like?
Drew Barrymore: Magical. Whoopi was so funny. Sometimes on the set, she would say, “No, child.”[James and Drew laugh until James and the chair fall down. James crawls back up.]
James Lipton: We will conclude our evening with a questionnaire invened by the great Bernard Pivot of “Apostrophes” and “Bouillon de Culture” — [clutches wrist] I hurt my wrist — which has been asked of some of the finet minds of the 20th century. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
Drew Barrymore: Um, a knife maker.
James Lipton: What profession would you absolutely not like to participate in?
Drew Barrymore: Um, I wouldn’t ant to burn monkeys.
James Lipton: Nor they you. And finally, if heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive?
Drew Barrymore: Um, “Hey, Drew Barrymoore, you have treated people with such care, tender care, and kindness. You smell like flowers.
James Lipton: [applauds] Drew Barrymoore, you are a delight.
Drew Barrymore: Thank you. [attempts to shake James hand]
James Lipton: [recoils] Son of a bee sting. Thank you.
Drew Barrymore: Thank you.[logo appears, then fade]
Submitted by: Road Dog XVIII