Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 26: Episode 2
Vote Sober 2000
…..the cast of “Saturday Night Live”
Tracy Morgan: Voting is your most precious right as a citizen, but it requires a thorough study of the issues, and most of all, a clear head.
Ana Gasteyer: That’s why we’re concerned about the recent increase in VWIs: Voting While Intoxicated.
Darrell Hammond: Studies have shown that even with a blood-alcohol level as low as 00.2%, your judgment as a voter can be seriously impaired. And when you vote drunk, you’re not the only one who suffers.
Will Ferrell: This is Tucker Cawkins, age 5. Two years ago, drunk voters in Missouri elected him Lt. Governor. His younger sister, Britney, was made State Auditor.
Rachel Dratch: And, in a recent Kentucky referendum, enough voters went to the polls completely hammered to make “Kung Fu Fighting” the official state anthem.
Jerry Minor: So when you cast your ballot this November: please think; but don’t drink.
Jimmy Fallon: Although, if you simply must vote drunk, check out the following book at your local library, or on-line at www.nbci.com.
Chris Parnell: It’s called the “Saturday Night Live 25th Anniversary of Mixed Drinks”. Inside you’ll find cocktail recipes from each of our cast members.. from Ana Gasteyer’s Long Island Iced Tea Pops, to Horatio Sanz’s Big Pail of Everclear.
Maya Rudolph: And by the way, all profits from this book go directly to “Vote Sober 2000”
Tina Fey: That’s a front group for General Electric.
[ cut to NBC’s “The More You Know” graphic ]