SNL Transcripts: Charlize Theron: 11/04/00: The Coconut Bangers Ball



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  Season 26: Episode 4



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00d: Charlize Theron / Paul Simon

The Coconut Bangers Ball

Robert Goulet…..Will Ferrell

Announcer: Ladies and Gentleman Mr. Robert Goulet.

Robert Goulet: Hello I’m Robert Goulet Da da de da da do. I know one thing we can agree on when a professional gets his mitts on a song that’s when it really takes off. Da da de da da do ba dob a do. That’s why I’ve gone out and done the music world a frickin’ service, and cut this compact disc. It’s called The Coconut Bangers Ball: It’s A Rap. Ha Ha Ha A little inside I know. Anyway what you get is one full hour of rip roarin’ rap music. Not by some dubious ruffians without the chops, but by a professionally trained voice man. No musical accompaniment. It’s just me out there. Watch what I do with this little ditty from Sisqo called the “Thong Song.”

(singing “Thong Song” by Sisqo)

“Oh girl that dress is so scandolous,
And you know another Nigga couldn’t handle it.
You see dumps like a truck, truck, truck
Not like a what, what, what
Baby move you butt,butt,butt
I think I’ll sing it again
Sha bang, sha bop,bop bop.
Thong Song”

Something like that. Hey you wouldn’t let a clown fix a leak in the john. So why do you let these hooligans tear down the biz.Yeah!!!!! I don’t care if he is mister Notorious big. Can he croon.

(singing “Poppa” by Notorious B.I.G.)

“Poppa, I like it when you call me Big Poppa
Throw your hands in the air if you think your a playa
Poppa, I love it when you call me Big Poppa
To the honeys makin’ money playin’ niggaz just like dummies
Poppa”

You get the idea. We call it Coconut Bangers Ball: It’s A Rap. It’s Snoopy, Dre, Biggie, Puff Man, Cooooooooolio, the whole bunch.

(singing Who Let The Dogs Out by Baha Men)

“Who let the dogs out,
Who let those dogs out,
Who let those little muts gooooooooooo!
Yeah! Goulet!”

Well I gotta a gig to make, but do yourself a big favor alright and go out and ( Big Horn walks into scene) hold on lookee here. It’s a big horn. Well! (grabs bowl of food) That’s why I come up here. Look at you. You’re hungry. You don’t even blink do you . Quick staring contest me and you Now! (staring contest begins, Goulet blinks) You win, you always do. That’s why I come up here.

(singing)

Nature! Goulet!

Anyway check out the CD you’ll just love it. Or my name isn’t Robert Goulet.

Announcer: The Coconut Bangers Ball: It’s A Rap in stores now.

Submitted by: Charles Spivey

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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