Mena Suvari’s Monologue

Mena Suvari’s Monologue

…..Mena Suvari
…..Will Ferrell
…..Molly Shannon
…..Lorne Michaels
…..Tracy Morgan

Mena Suvari: This is so cool to be hosting “Saturday Night Live!” This is like a dream come true. It all started when I got a part in the movie “American Beauty”. But I had an equally amazing experience working with the cast of this show. Here, let me show you. [ walks off stage ] I mean, look at this studio, can you believe it? I thought you’d enjoy seeing what goes on at the beginning of the show. I mean, I’ve learned so much this week about doing live television. [ finds Will Ferrell backstage ]

Will Ferrell: [ dressed in his Spartan Cheerleader costume ] Hey, Mena! Good luck tonight!

Mena Suvari: Thanks, Will! [ to camera ] That’s Will Ferrell. He’s so cute. [ music from “American Beauty” plays, as Mena falls into a trance imagining Will seducing her amidst rose petals flowing from his chest ] Spec-tact-u-lar!

Will Ferrell: Have a good show.

Mena Suvari: Yeah, thanks.. you, too, Will.. [ continues walking down the hall ] And this is where they write the cue cards, and down the hall is the Props Department. [ spots Molly Shannon ] Hey, Molly Shannon!

Molly Shannon: Hi, Mena! You’re gonna have a great show tonight!

Mena Suvari: [ happy ] You think so? [ falls into her trance again, imagining Molly lying on a bed of rose petals ]

Molly Shannon: Are you okay?

Mena Suvari: Oh, sorry.. what were you saying? [ falls back into her trance, now imagining Molly dressed as Mary Katherine Gallagher ] Mmm.. yea-eah..!

Molly Shannon: Mean? Are you alright?

Mena Suvari: [ snaps out of her trance ] Oh, yeah! I’m fine! Goodybe, Molly! [ turns down the hall ] And this is where the extras hang out.. [ Lorne Michaels and Tracy Morgan pass through the hall ] Lorne! Tracy!

Lorne Michaels: Hello, Mena. How are you?

Mena Suvari: I’m very well, thanks.

Tracy Morgan: Mean, you fine! Ain’t she, Lorne?

Lorne Michaels: Fine. Definitely fine. [ Lorne falls into a similar trance, only he envisions Tracy Morgan lying in a bed of rose petals instead ]

Tracy Morgan: Lorne? Everything copasetic? You alright, dog?

[ Lorne silently turns and walks away, leaving Tracy confused ]

Mena Suvari: [ back on stage ] We’ve got a great show, Lenny Kravitz is here. So, stick around, we’ll be right back!

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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