Grandmaster Rap…..Jerry Minor
Kid Shazzam…..Horatio Sanz
Aaron Carter…..Mena Suvari
Grandmaster Raps & Kid Shazzam: (rapping)
Grandmaster Raps with the sneakers on
I’m breakin’ heavy bling at the breaka breaka dawn
I’m Kid Shazzam, and my rhymes don’t quit
Cuz we both retired, and we don’t do shikka shikka
Rap rap, a ribbity rap rap
A rip rop ribbity do!
And this is what we like to say
A rip rop ribbity do!
Whoo! Uh- huh!
Grandmaster Raps: Those rhymes were ill!
Kid Shazzam: Mmm-hmm! You can’t get no flu shot to protect you from those illin’ rhymes either!
Grandmaster Raps: You cannot, no, you cannot!
Kid Shazzam: Welcome to Rap Street everybody! Well, what’s goin’ down, Grandmaster Raps?
Grandmaster Raps: Well, everything is funky fresh!
Kid Shazzam: Ooh, funky fresh indeed! Before we start our show, we’d like to give a shout out to one of our fly girls Janice Thompson. She’s gettin’ a hip replacement. Get better, girl!
Grandmaster Raps: So send your cards and letters to St. Mary’s hospital, down yonder on route six. Now for those of y’all who did our old rap school favor, we want you to see us live, and you wanna see us live too. So we’re gon’ to run down the dates for the Old School Masses of Rap, Old School’s in Session, Ring the Bell, 2001 tour!
Kid Shazzam: All right, woo! First one’s on February 19th, at the 50 Grand Lounge. Then the twentieth, Open Mike night at Carlos O’Malley’s Mexican Irish Pub. Twenty-first, cancelled, twenty-second, cancelled, twenty-third, cancelled, twenty-fifth, cancelled, twenty-sixth, to be announced, and the twenty seventh show is cancelled!
Grandmaster Raps: Woo! To be announced, right?
Kid Shazzam: To be announced, and the rest we be doin’.
Grandmaster Raps: Come on down, and we gon’ kick it up! Okay, now here Shazzam, have you seen this little kid rapper that goes by the name of Lil’ Bow Wow? Ten years old, and talking about dangerous grown up thangs like drivin’ cars and talkin’ on cell phones!
Kid Shazzam: You better leave that illin’ stuff alone! Cell phones increase the risk of brain cancer by 14 percents!
Grandmaster Raps: Mmm-hmm. Kids grow up too fast in the world of hip hops.
Kid Shazzam: That is true, that is true Grandmaster Raps. Which brings us to our guest. Now, he’s young, but he’s good. Puts that Lil’ Bow wow in his place like we put Charlie in his place in Vietnam!
Grandmaster Raps: Oh, that holocaust with flame throwers and napalms
Kid Shazzam: Orgies and whatnots I don’t know why I’m bringing up that illin’ stuff anyway. Well, please welcome little Aaron Carter!
Aaron Carter: Yo, what’s up Grandmaster Raps and Kid Shazzam! It’s great to be here, I’m a big fan!
Kid Shazzam: You’re a nice young man. Now, tell us Aaron Carters, what kind of stuff do you rap about?
Aaron Carter: Fun stuff like washing dishes, getting straight A’s, cleaning up your room and helping wash your grandma’s hair!
Grandmaster Raps: What a nice young boy. Now I understand you’re gonna perform for us, and this is from Aaron’s CD and the song is called Aaron’s Party
Aaron Carter: (rapping)
Well listen everybody to what I say
My dad got a clown for my birthday
We’ll laugh and have fun acting all cool
Eat hot dogs and jump in the pool
Everybody Party Party
Everybody’s gonna rock
Everybody party party
Ends at eight o’ clock!
Kid Shazzam: Yeah! It ends at eight o’clock!
Grandmaster Raps: Good time for a party to end!
Kid Shazzam: Whoo, I love to party! Cut a garbage can in half and put some ribs on that sucker
Grandmaster Raps: Oooh! That’s good! Yummy Time!
Kid Shazzam: You better watch it, eating all that food and jumping in the pool! You get cramps in the bottom of the pool like that ooh!
Aaron Carter: Mena Suvari Yes, Mr. Raps and Mr. Shazzam.
Grandmaster Raps: Now what are some of the other songs on your CDD?
Aaron Carter: Mena Suvari Well, I got Candy is Good, I Like my Bike, and Help the Police.
Grandmaster Raps: That’s nice! You keep putting out that good stuff! Looky here little Aaron Carters, would you like to join us in a lil’ old school raps?
Kid Shazzam: One fly treble!
Grandmaster Raps: Two fly thangs!
Both: Come on, Aaron Carter let’s rock this place!
Aaron Carter – My name’s AC and I like to say, I like to rap in an old school way
All: We gon’ rap rap, a ribbity rap rap, a rip rop ribbity do!
Kid Shazzam: That’s the end of the show!
Grandmaster Raps: Good night everybody!
All: A rip rop ribbity do!
Thanks to Ann*e Hussey for this transcript!