SNL Transcripts: Jennifer Lopez: 02/10/01: TV Funhouse

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 26: Episode 11

00k: Jennifer Lopez

TV Funhouse

Voice-Over: You just won the Super Bowl, what are you going to do next?

Trent Dilfer: I’m going to Disney World

Voice-Over: (as words scroll across screen) The Disney organization wishes to apologize to Super Bowl MVP Ray Lewis, who, because of his conviction for obstruction of justice, was not invited to Disney World in favor of quarterback Trent Dilfer. Disney now acknowledges Trent Dilfer sucks, and wishes to make amends to Ray Lewis with this exciting new home video….

(Show Walt Disney Pictures feature presentation clip)

Voice-Over: It’s an all-star cast of Disney favorites and the Super Bowl MVP in Ray of Light

(Ray of Light appears on screen)

Ray Lewis: (singing)
Dudes you hanging with have been badDon’t say nothin’ to make ‘em madYou can smile, it ain’t no crimeYou got the number one defense of all time

Voice-Over: With classic Disney Adventures

(shows scene from Bambi where Bambi’s mother is shot)

Bambi: Keep running, keep running

(gunshot is heard)

(shows Ray Lewis escaping in limo with blood on his jersey)

Ray Lewis: Oh Snap! I didn’t see nothing’

(shows some scenes from the Lion King)

Voice-Over: Ray Lewis is on the scene with all your Disney favorites

Ray Lewis: I didn’t kill no mother f***in’ lion. I don’t know who did it. We need to forget about that Simba s*** and focus on this Pittsburgh game. Okay, I saw a f***in’ wildebeest do something man.

(shows scene from Pinocchio)

Geppetto: Pinocchio

Voice-Over: With Ravens teammate, Shannon Sharpe

Shannon Sharpe: Yo leave the man alone. This is the best player in football. He didn’t take your f***in’ puppet.

Voice-Over: And songs by Elton John

(shows scene from Lion King)

Elton John: (singing)
And squealing on your friendis the hardest part of lifeSo try to focus on footballAnd

Voice-Over: Take Ray Lewis home on video and DVD

(shows scene from The Beauty and the Beast where the Beast gets stabbed)

(shows Ray Lewis escaping in limo aqain)

Ray Lewis: Oh Dip, I didn’t see nothin’

(Ray of Light appears on screen)

Voice-Over: Disney’s Ray of Light Rated R

(shows Ray Lewis on the cliff from Lion King)

Ray Lewis: (singing) I didn’t kill no mother f***in’ lion

Voice-Over: (quickly) Not authorized by Ray Lewis. Puff Daddy’s Fantasia coming next Christmas.

Ray Lewis: (singing) I didn’t see nobody kill no one

(End Credits of TV Funhouse)

Submitted by: Zack Carman

SNL Transcripts